up hill, through the snow, both ways

...remember the olden days. Being a kid, tough times. I predict the future...my poor grandchildren. It will go something like this:

Dad, WHY can't I have a new cellphone, all the kids have new cellphones.

Gavin: When I was a kid I was the ONLY kid who didn't have a cellphone. I saved my money FOREVER doing poop patrol for neighbors. I paid for my own phone, and set up a plan with the worst phone service. I couldn't even get phone service in my own bedroom. I was the only kid who got my phone taken away. And while my parents had confiscated my phone I still had to pay for my phone bill every month. Kids in my school all had new phones, and their parents paid for them every month. One time, my phone was taken away for 3 months! I had the oldest phone; the ones the dinosaurs invented, and all my friends had the newest phones.

I lost all hope in the humanity of my parents.
The meanest parents on the block.

...And I bet he will be just like us.