Saturday, January 31, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Discrimination. The act of distinguishing differences between one thing and another. Distinguishing, showing favoritism, a perception of difference or critic of one thing over another. An ability to discern that something is better. No where in the 2nd College Edition of the New World Dictionary of the American Language does it refer to discrimination potential for human beings, only things. Are we human beings mere things? This is the issue, and is it really black or white?
Here in the New World, English was adopted as the native language; we speak a language from a foreign country. We propose to be American; a people of this land, yet we are immigrants no less. And we claim to equally speak English, but do we really speak American, Mexican, black, Chinese, German? Is our speech about the language, or is it about the color of our roots. And is it really language or is it dialect? The roots of these questions are as ugly and as obvious as a bad bottle job on prom night. Obviously we still associate people with things.
What does our reaction to the reference of speaking Mexican say about who we are? Does our reaction prove we human beings are being human things? Are we what we speak?
In any new situation by nature we begin to acclimate ourselves to what is familiar, as well as make quick judgments about what is not. We associate comfort with things that are similar to ourselves. We hear sounds and we use our background to make associations to things we are familiar with or whether the sounds are entirely new to us. When something is new we discriminate, it is good, is it bad, is it comfortable, is it worthwhile, is it black or is it white? Again, all our discrimination point to things, not beings. The real issue for me is when in society did we begin to associate human beings with being human things.
My initial thought to whether or not I judged others based on their dialect was that no, I did not notice, but as I took the racial profiling quiz I realized that it is very natural to me to think that I hear a race within a sound. That became very deceiving to me as I watched some of the videos. I did not like learning about myself that auditory profiling feels natural, as if it is part of a that person’s very make up. And my judgments are a very part of mine. From the exercise I became acutely aware of the differences in dialect within my home, how my son talks to me adversely when he talks to his friends, and then how he talks to me around his friends. Why does he feel the need to change his dialect so much? It felt very personal to me that he sounded different talking to me about taking him to his basketball game because his friend was in the room. It was very apparent to me as he called later to apologize to me for talking the way he did, that he was even as aware of the difference in his tone. This same son has strong opinions about half of his school speaking Mexican, as if he is better than they. An issue that makes me wonder WHERE he came from; and certainly where he adopted his opinions from.
It is time to disembark old ways and to engage in ways of a true New World. Ways that allow us all to talk in our language, our English, native to our home, and possibly no different than how we would speak to our mothers, friends present or not; kinder and gentler tones, in how we speak and in how we listen. Is there a possibility of discoloring language, so that we are more beings than things? While I have never thought of myself as a person who hears color, I do think that it is a little too human being that we hear in color. And we all alter our voices to some degree or another when we are talking. The emphasis we put on our words through sound sometimes says more than the words themselves.
In accounting for the anger and frustration that people feel when being judged for the sound of their voice, their reactions are rightly so. There is nothing more personal than what truly comes from within and your voice is the most within thing that you can portray. It is so personal to you and yet so far from the person you are.
I think possibly we can change, I think there is a New World English that habituates all our ways, collectively, all our tones, divisively, and has the potential to make us auditory blind and true listeners; deaf to the color of our sound. A favorable future; auspicious, authentic, American.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
I love the scouting program.
Wednesday night Gavin had a court of Honor.
I am so thankful that grown men will share feelings and thoughts that i am quite certain i would not get into my sons head alone. Thank you leaders.
the scoutmasters minute was so thoughtfully said.
My father in law is a biologist.
I have always listened to him talk about biology things that are just a little nerdy. Most recently he has shared with my wife and I about bird watching.
Sound a little nerdy...probably because it is.
You get your little book of birds, your old tape recorder of bird sounds, your binoculars and you watch...For birds. Thats it.
You look for their colors, their flight patters, listen for their songs.
Well recently I learned something about this.
I went to a campground this past summer. We hiked, we played, we camped.
It was awesome.
Later in the year we were assigned to do a bird watch at the very same campground. Yep, me, a bird watch.
Sound a little nerdy. Yep.
I got my book of birds, I got a tape recorder of bird sounds, and I got my binoculars and we went back to that same campground.
And do you know what. We looked for birds.
And do you know what. WE FOUND BIRDS.
Yep, and guess what else. I had the most amazing time, a much better time than I ever had before.
I had something I was looking for and I found it.
What I learned from that experience is the same in life.
If you know what you are looking for, you WILL FIND IT.
As is with the gospel of Jesus Christ.
He has given us a bit of instruction, and a way to find Him, and if you look for Him in life, you will find Him.
Amen to that.
I don't mind being a little nerdie once in a while.
It looks good on me. And it feels good in me.
Friday, January 23, 2009
post below about my kids and their play..
...but sometimes you come across
things that MUST be posted immediatly...
this is one of those things. lol
"Your Aura's Ugly
And Your Karma Sucks"
Never ask "why me?"
What if you get an answer?
Better not to know.
Never ask "what next?"
can fill it's own cup.
Never ask "are we
there yet?" If we were, I would
have stopped the damned car!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
The play was written about 5 years ago by Gary Stoddard for our school and the time has come around again for them to present this play again at
a bit about gary:
Gary has spent the last 4 years working as an arts specialist in different school districts. During this tenure he has had many opportunities to create various performances as well as programs that not only assist children in learning but that teach them that they too are artists, actors and music participants. Probably the most loved is his Musical "Whatever You Imagine" which he directed and has been performed at the Rose Wagner theater in Salt Lake City and the Sandy City Amphitheater as well as other venues. This show has recently been made available to the public for licensed performance.
His most recent works "The Masterpiece" ,"Secret of the Magic Keys" and "Treasures In My Own Backyard" are finding their own place into the hearts of families through it's music and message.
The concept of looking for and realizing all of life's many opportunities has and still is a life long learning process for Gary. Gary is also an amazing singer and song artist...famous for Wasatch Elementary Schools End of Year Neighborhood Celebrations!!!
We really are so excited for Clarissa and Sam to be part of this; it is a fabulous play and very worth seeing, not just to see the kids, but for the meaning. If you come you will love it.
Go ahead, check out the website; and if you can we would love for you to come.
MARCH 12th and 13th!!!
We live in a world of endless possibilities and potential.The greatest tool we have in this life is our ability to imagine, choose and create. Through these magnificent tools, empires have been built, great pieces of art have been created and civilization changing inventions realized.
We all tap into this endless resource daily sometimes with out a second thought to the co creative power that lies within our reach. By simply being aware that you are making choices in every second that will affect you, the people around you and the world you live in, would completely change our outlook on the important role we play in this world we call home.
"I can" should be our daily mantra until we truly believe in those two little but powerful words.
All children have the right to learn that they have a personal power in their lives through the choices they make in every moment and that these choices create their own personal future.
It is the most amazing thing for someone to take an interest in your child...this is one of those amazing moments.
We hope some of you can join us.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
"the Fierceness of NOW." those are some of the words being used to describe what was just seen as history as President-Elect Barack Obama took the helm of America while looking over the sea of humanity from the inaugural platform. He describes our America as being amidst gathering clouds and storms, but as people we must remain faithful to the founding documents.
I love that, because I love words, and if we could be more true to the documents that founded our great nation, amidst the storms of the past, if we could remember that we have made history of worse times than we face now, if we could be true and faithful, we will prevail. And we will prevail a much stronger, much more compassionate, much more happy nation. Because we are in charge of our own happiness, because it is up to us to achieve it.
He talked today about the friend that we are to so many nations, and the friend we must become to all nations. "Our founding fathers faced with peril troubles we can scarcely imagine," loosely quoted. "Our power grows through prudent use." Anyone who parents knows this truth.
"Our patchwork heritage is our strength"...and like a "parents willingness to nurture a child...nothing is so satisfying as giving our all to a difficult task."
He talks about our America as being amidst a crisis, a nation at war, with a weakened economy. That we must make hard choices. That in the very way we use energy today we are strengthening our enemies. There is a nagging fear that the next generation must lower their sites. He says, "the challenges are real....but they will be met. On this day we choose hope over fear...unity over dissension."
Two prayers opened and closed the inaugeral address, "May we have wisdom to work for a prosperous nation and peaceful planet, ...responsibility in our actions and humility in our approach." and,
"What if the mightiest word is LOVE."
A poet recited. "Each day we go about our business..all about us is noise..and bramble...and thorns...each one of our ancestors is on our tongue...we are repairing the things in need of repair...we walk into that which we can not see...many have died to make today...the figuring it out at the dinner table...do no harm...take no more...and yes, What if the mightiest word is love?"
"Lord, thou keep us in the path, ...may we forever stand true to thee."
It was an inaugural address that I am proud to know my kids will never forget, and always remember....and not because Barack is black, but because he said "Yes, we CAN", because there is possibility of unity, because they feel the responsibility of their future is true to their own desire of their heart, their dreams can come true, and all and only because they are willing to work for what they have.
Nothing is given, but that which is worked hard for is earned.
Monday, January 19, 2009
This one is Gavin, all Gavin -
Doing homework at a very late hour (where he got that habit...who knows.)
Me getting ready to tub it.
Asking him HOW MUCH HOMEWORK do you have left?
Me: You had the entire weekend!@ (again a habit I can't explain. hmmmmm)
Henry: Mom, my homework just flung up on me.
Actually, I wanted to know if he meant flung UPON, or FLUNG UP on.
He was so dramatic.
You know how homework is; it can just be FLUNG UPON you.
I feel some blogs flunging upon me as we speak.
And below, what has inspired me.
Kids, WOW; when they can give you back something so beautiful.
As his official editor I got this treat in my inbox; which I have taken the entire weee hours to read, and weap….
This ends our Homework Series. Stay tuned for other antics; as they will arise.
Martin Luther King Jr. Essay
Every day is different because we make it different. Every person is different, just like a snowflake. But they are different in a way that helps support the world in the society we live in today, like individual snowflakes; they all contribute significantly to the beauty and peace of a winter storm. And one idea that a person develops can change the world’s perception on life, for the better; simply because it’s new.
“Martin Luther king began his long and strenuous quest On December 1, 1955, when forty-three year old Rosa Parks boarded a Montgomery, Alabama city bus after finishing work as a tailor's assistant at the Montgomery Fair department store. As all black patrons were required to do, she paid her fair at the front of the bus and then re-boarded in the rear. She sat in a vacant seat in the back next to a man and across the aisle from two women.
After a few stops, the seats in the front of the bus became full, and a white man who had boarded stood in the aisle. The bus driver asked Parks, the man next to her, and the two women to let the white man have their seats. As the others moved, Parks remained in her seat. The bus driver again asked her to move, but she refused. The driver called the police, and she was arrested. She did not know it at the time, but this courageous act would lead to a 382 day bus boycott and the desegregation of buses throughout the United States…” These were the circumstances of Dr. King as described by Jessica McElrath.
Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream. A dream that was distinguishable from all others! He took the ideas from this dream to make one of the most famous speeches in American history. His speech is called “I have a dream.” The definition of dream as is follows: something of unreal beauty. What Martin saw was solely of an unbeknownst beauty that was just waiting to be discovered, as if he knew the beauty that could be of a winter storm. The kind of beauty and peace we still are discovering today.
One quote from this speech is: "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." For Dr. King to have the ability then to see someone for who they are and not for the color of their skin, their economical standings, or the level of education they have achieved. This ability must be a privilege that, I bet you, is taken for granted by so many today, and yet undiscovered by some.
Martin Luther King was a man that could indeed see people for who they are and what their potential was. He saw America during its most difficult time. The citizens of this country were in peril they were confused and felt threatened thus they resulted in violence and outrage. Famously quoted, "Peace cannot be achieved through violence; it can only be attained through understanding." These wise words from Ralph Waldo Emerson present an inference that violence truly cannot be obtained thru violence but rather by the concept of awareness that we all were created in the image of God to be like Him. And that one person cannot become magnificent without others; without the comprehension that in order to make a snow fort we need each of the individual, the different but necessary snowflakes, to bond together and make something that we all can benefit from.
Martin Luther king saw this violence and realized that it is indeed the last resort a coward has to rely on. Martin Luther king saw this and decided to initiate the undoing of racial segregation and racial discrimination through civil disobedience and other non-violent means. His reputation to do this preceded him. He was so influential that at his “I have a dream” speech in 1963 during the March on Washington there were over two hundred thousand people in attendance.
I have had the chance to hear the stories of the Martin Luther King Jr. assassination. On April 4, 1968 Martin Luther King Jr. was on the balcony of the Lorraine Hotel in Memphis Tennessee. As he lay sprawled on the floor of the balcony blood dripping from his neck; a great man lies dead, a legend was born.
This man gave up his life for a protest against discrimination and violence. James Earl Ray was the man arrested for the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. But many think he is innocent, even the family of Martin himself continue to wonder.
Martin Luther King Jr. was a man of great ability and great accomplishment. Lloyd Alexander once said "Optimism is essential to achievement and it is also the foundation of courage and true progress." This is a quote that can describe each and every one of us if we allow it to. Who we are today is only part of who we are becoming tomorrow. Martin Luther King Jr. was a man of superb brilliance that took this statement to mind and, therefore, set forth on what he knew would change the world as he had known it. He believed, yes, he had a dream.
Here dies a man who understood what he wanted and he fought for it, his honor, his life, his legacy is testimony of his words, his beliefs, and in losing his life he bore the dream to our Nation. The members of his family and all of those who believed in what he so profoundly spoke of remember his legacy and honor it; those that don’t are truly in a state of confusion. Confused that only one man, Martin Luther King Jr. had enough emotion and willpower to perceive something they couldn’t fathom. Martin Luther King Jr. knew what the problem was; he saw it and went forth so that his children could have a better life. I will let Thomas Carlyle congratulate Martin on his achievements by saying: “Let each become all that he was created capable of being.” Which is exactly what Martin wanted; his dream has become our reality.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
anyhow. i am definitely in a rambling mood. good thing this is not my only place to vent. and since my venting is on so many layers today i have something to say EVERYWHERE. wow, i need meds. so, here i am, it is the sabbath day, and i have enjoyed a beautiful meeting, a beautiful and refreshing and renewing sacrament, and now i find myself waking from a 5 hour nap with my brain firing. for anyone who doesn't know what that means: BE THANKFUL...and pray you never have to find out. seriously, pray. I WILL WAIT.
good, your back, and hopefully safe.
so. i had something to say about me and honesty. not really anything bad, but man, I am WAY to honest. WAY to much of the time. If you don't believe me, here goes...I honestly did tell Brian's home teaching supervisor last night that rubbing his wife's nipples would help her to stimulate labor. They (ie HE) sounded desperate. I mean, when your wife gets only 3 days from her due date, that constitutes desperation. Don't believe me, you have probably never been there. Yes, the hts went running, so did Brian. But not before I mentioned something about looking it up on the internet, only to cause worse embarrassment as he was thinking nipple twisting was probably not two words that go well in your internet search engine.
if i were catholic that would merit a father forgive me moment. Being Mormon I think I am safe, well safe enough. I still have my calling, which is like a job in our church, which doesn't mean much, it just means they are still desperate.
I conducted today in Relief Society and to save any of you readers who are still reading from overshare I will just stop at that. it wasn't as bad as last nights honesty, but close. i guess when you have lived my life you have a lot to say that people respond in shock and horror over. i don't know any different or any better. it is the only life i know, and i guess when lessons are taught from a holy errr than holy level, which tends to happen, most people don't realize just how bad things can get, and that families are forever sounds more like a threat to some people, and that it really doesn't make for an easy lesson to live through, when you know the things i learned early only in my life. lets just say my comments began with something to do with a wrecking ball, and the destruction of a childhood, and not really being a fan of live perfect and you have nothing to fear....i am not sure who i am tied to for eternity at this point, but i am thankful that the link goes back to adam and eve, and that i will somewhere find contentment with the sisters that i dearly love, enjoy, and appreciate, the sisters I meet with each week, my sisters, by family, my daughter, my cousins, dear aunts, grandmothers....i may not be their child....born into the covenant as they say, but somewhere i will be collected up and kept, i had two offers from sisters in Relief Society to take me if i am so orphoned in heaven, as here on earth.
phew, that was way to long, but to save me from having to go back, read and edit, i will just begin a new paragraph, and get to my point...hopefully you stopped reading too and just began again here. so...my point, yes, i have one. my cousin LeShel blogged about this baby making her butt look big, and my sister Suzie told me a funny this week about a kid asking a lady if a baby was growing in her stomach what was growing in her butt, so I blame both of you. Its not a bad blame, it is a THANK YOU because i had just the right words to deal with a circumstance at church today.
Here goes, yes, actually my point: At church many things happened today, of which I want to blog three.
1) after relief society i get my usual dose of sisters needing to report something and today was not unusual. I decided to handle it with flair. as the complaint was coming in about something that i had missed during the week, something that i should have handled/ie taken care of, remembered....deadlines. I don't understand deadlines at church, and being just a week shy of post-operative, and finally sober from the meds that I have been on, and still swollen, not bending well, just thankful that I was upright, and for girdles,,,,yes, thankful for girdles, which can hold in stuff that you need holding in I was able to look at this lady....ie the complainer, and just say in response to what I was missing that should have been/could have been done [certainly not life or death....i mean this is church, and it didn't have to do with food, oxygen, water or shelter, the essential essentials] and say...."Does this surgery make my butt look big."
Yes, that is my exact words. let me repeat: "Does this surgery make my butt look big."
she stopped. and i said sorry, i was just wondering. go on, what were you saying. to which she said. oh....i heard you had surgery, and i said, yes, and what is it that i missed, hmmm, i will get to that right away....after my nap of course.
okay, item #2 this story includes Brian and let me just forwarn you that stories that include Brian are usually inappropriate and sometimes really painful. reader beware.
Elder Johnson came up to me, right after talking to the sister about my butt looking big, and right before story number three, which is a Jeremy story and also includes Elder Johnson. If you don't know Elder Johnson don't worry, just click on his picture here and you will be taken to one of my favorite talks from conference. all his talks are good, but i really loved this one.
(yes, loving this talk may confuse you being that i struggle with what i mentioned earlier, but focus on the restoring part....it is my hope, i love my family, and i pray for that restoration of the family that i belong to, i want to be with everyone of them.)
okay, now to continue he comes up to me and takes my hand, not uncommon, his wife is my visiting teacher, and they are an amazing couple, but today he says, i will never forget and always remember, "Dear Stacie, your daughter Clarissa is an amazing young girl, i could not overcome how beautiful in spirit she was in Young Women's today [yes, I just said Young Women's, and yes, I am having a hard time with that as well.] She is an amazing young girl and you should be really proud of her. I can tell that she has been taught well in your home."
oh course i said thank you, i think, i was so overcome. Clarissa was called and sustained as the Beehive Counselor today, Gavin as the Teacher Quorum President, so it was a nice meeting all together.
and that was probably the nicest moment of getting a compliment about your child I have ever had. It wasn't his words, with was the feeling and the spirit that I felt while he was saying them. Amazing.
okay, i haven't mentioned Brian in this story yet, and here is where the story gets interesting...
Brian and i over lunch were talking, yes, we talk.
and he mentions that Elder Johnson came into the clerks office and took his hand and complimented him on Clarissa. He tells me the conversation:
Elder Johnson: Brother Lawrence, Your daughter Clarissa is a beautiful and amazing young girl, with an amazing spirit and strength, I don't know where you got her, but she is something special.
Brian: Oh, she's from the postman....
to which Elder Johnson did not reply beyond saying that we were fortunate to have her.....did you expect him to....GEEZ BRIAN...the postman, the milkman, the milkmaid, the paper boy...always some comment when he is complimented on our children.
anyhow, i am going to move on before i say what is on my mind..
so, Elder Johnson is speaking to me and Jeremy looks up at him and says, "Yeah, this is my mom but I don't live with her right now. I moved out. I live with my aunt Colleen. I only see my mom at church."
OH YES HE DID.
(I can hear Suzie right now saying, OH NO HE DIDN"T, you are aren't you....}
Yes, he did, he said it. How do you follow your child when they tell an apostle of the Lord that you are their mom...but that they don't live with you.
I say: "Yes, he moved out until Tuesday morning, it is just something he is trying."
To which Jeremy said: "No, not just trying it out, I don't live with her [pointing to me] right now."
okay, at this point I just smiled, because I know enough from family services in my childhood it is just best not to say anything more....
and that was our Sabbath. How was yours?
just in case this was all together too long and you didn't want to read it i will post a picture for your pleasure. I love visual rhetoric. okay....happy day!
Friday, January 16, 2009
I can feel jealous, I can feel attitude, I can feel indifferent, I can feel hope, and irritation, and insignificant, and top of the world, and amazing, and ridiculous laughing at myself and rolling in pleasure, all these feelings, at the drop of a second. And it all has to do with my id; My personal inner desire to feel something. But what I am most thankful for is that I CAN FEEL. I can have feelings, and whether easy or difficult, I FEEL SOMETHING. That is more important than the actual feeling.
So, today I am so thankful to have feelings. I am thankful to be mellowing out. And I am happy to have so many amazing people to share these FEELINGS with.
Thanks for reading, and for being a part of why I am feeling the way that I am.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
So, if you don't mind,
and this is my first order of business....why...in a family and friendly blog do only a few people leave words at my steps....and why....in cyber world do I have lots of followers and lots of commentors. Study based on social construct,
basically what makes our family a family in a social aspect.
Not Brian and my family, but my blogging family...
I feel that maybe I get commentors and followers on my pseudonymous
[thank you suzie for the grand word!!!]
blog because of the not knowing me personally fact, which makes me feel to take it personally; but then I know you, so I have my guesses why you don't leave comments....but I would like to hear it from you.
My blog reading friends. Are you there???
Please address this, won't even cost you 42 cents...free, just click on comment
and tell me why, tell me why.....before I turn this into a broadway musical...
...still Christmas at out house...
peaceful and sweet
the kids letting me sleep
turning the lights to dim
and the tree on
one hour at a time
stories and memories
keep us smiling as the New Year comes in
resolutions to make
old ones to account for
and no reason to not be thankful
we have you.
Happy New Year....
and in a few you will have our resolve to go and do
I have officially named my Grandmothers birthday
as Me Improvement Day
at our house
For she was one cool lady
and to resolve to be more like her
on her Birthday
I can't think of a better way to
honor and celebrate her
I will forever leave my Christmas lights on
until the day of her birth
for that was how she saw fit
to keep Christmas
and under the light of the tree
I will find ways to improve me.
Happy Me Improvement Day to you all!
January 9, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
NPR had an awesome and worth listening RadioWest today....so YES, this is well worth the pain I am in. It was Bill Bishop talking about his new book "The Big Sort". I will be picking it up and hopefully getting a review written about it.
Talk was about how we sort ourselves in America. Like forming Tribes based on self-perpetuation and Political Partisan, yes CAPS are necessary.
The clustering of like-minded Americans is definatly tearing our American diversity apart.
We want to live by our like minded selves. So selfish. And this very bland human experiment is one we are doing to ourselves. What are the forseen social consequences? Are we a polarized America?
With so many choices, yet we choose to be bland; to live dormatory lives. yuk!
Should be a good read! I will let you know!!!
Now, off my butt to the 2nd floor for a two hour class in a hard chair. Sounds like a pain....well, you know!
Happy day....to all, and to all, a warning...I am back, and I am under the influence.