Friday, December 26, 2008

haPpy 12th BiRthDaY Clarissa!

Steele Days, American Fork, with Grandparents ♥

Performing Kingsbury Hall

Fish Lake 08

Mack's Inn, Henrys Fork, Idaho 2007

Moab 07

Moab 2006
Red River Ranch 2006, oh brother...

oooooooooopppssss, too often

goalie, 2006

Cat in the Hat '06
Halloween 2007

Christmas 2006

Clarissa Rosebelle Lawrence, age 12
Veterans Day 2008
Christmas 2007

Baptism Day 2004

we love you beautiful!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

wishing you...

and peace and love and joy
and FAITH today...
Merry Christmas
Christ Was, and Is the Reason...
This I found on a friends blog...
...and borrowed with permission ☺

Tonight as I fell asleep next to Sam,

while waiting for Santa to come,

i was singing softly a verse of

Mother Tell Me the Stories....[cs]

Sam said to me:

"do you just want to listen to my Ipod!!!"

Got to love him

[sweet boy, who didn't write a christmas list this year because

"I really just don't need anything..." ♥

after hearing the reindeer land on the roof,

we did listen to House of Pooh Corner..

..on his IPOD!

Merry Christmas to all,

and to all a hopefully wonderful morning!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

broken things to mend

Happy Holidays. I know that some of you, my loved ones, have been worried about me. As I posted this today, just now, on my healing journey I realized that this is the first time that I feel like ME. Who I am becoming. That is a statement, not a question. What I have written below is mainly for me, but I wanted to share it with any of you who would like to know how I am doing. I hope this greeting finds you having a very VERY Merry Christmas. With all my love, stacie

I belong to
the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I have learned from church as an adult that you can be loved, you can be mended, you can be healed, having Faith in Jesus.

I have always felt as though they were talking about everyone else, not me.

I love my church. I love the people who come each Sunday, who put their arms around me; Who Love me. I know they do, I feel it, I want to be there each week, no matter how sad or broken I feel I never stop going. Even when I have been breaking the commandments, I still go. Even when I loose the light in my eyes, and people come up to me and ask me what's wrong. Even the day my Grandmother died, I went.

A talk was given during one of our conferences titled Broken Things to Mend, by Jeffrey R. Holland. I remember it was beautiful.

For Christmas this year I bought the book: Broken Things to Mend for my sister, and one for my mother. I went back and got one for me. I haven't read it yet, but feel that it will be a really good part of my healing process.

Today, missing my Grandmother very much, I got a surprise visit. My mom came by. Everyone loves surprises, but you know what I have told you about my mom. My childhood.

She came by, and it was good.

Let me tell you more. She brought with her little Santa bags. Bags she had sewn herself, to give us as Mrs. Claus bags. My Grandmother always played Mrs. Claus for us, it is by far my favorite Christmas memory ever. And I am missing her greatly, this healing is partially coming and necessary due to losing her in October. Something in me broke, my heart and more, so badly when she died. And when that broke, the rest of me fell apart.

Having my mom come today reminded me of something I learned in church. Faith. I gave my mom her book, and a journal, and a little white bracelet with the word Faith on it. Like the one my son gave to my grandmother years ago, something she wore everyday the rest of her life, and was buried with.

As my mom played Mrs. Claus today I watched her from the rocking chair that my Grandmothers Father built. She gave them the gifts, with no fancy dress, no singing of Here comes Santa Clause...just a sweet gift of a journal and some old fashioned candy, like Grandma.

I don't think that I could have felt good about any other expression of the celebration this year. In honor of My Grandmothers life it just would not have been right. This was and is the perfect way for me. Me and my teary children. We love and miss Grandmother.

So as tears came to my eyes I realized I wasn't crying because I was sad or broken. I was crying because I was happy. I remembered that Life is great. Life is and will be eternal. Life is love, and prayer, and Hope, and Faith, Life is happy, and Families are Forever.

We believe this in our church. And I will be able to see my Grandmother again. I may be broken, but I am beginning to believe that Broken is Better. And that being broken I have the Faith to heal, to be renewed. To be whole.

part of that conference address says:
"He is saying to us, "Trust me, learn of me, do what I do. Then, when you walk where I am going," He says, "we can talk about where you are going, and the problems you face and the troubles you have. If you will follow me, I will lead you out of darkness," He promises. "I will give you answers to your prayers. I will give you rest to your souls.""

Another part I love is:

Are you battling a demon of addiction—tobacco or drugs or gambling, or the pernicious contemporary plague of pornography? Is your marriage in trouble or your child in danger? Are you confused with gender identity or searching for self-esteem? Do you—or someone you love—face disease or depression or death? Whatever other steps you may need to take to resolve these concerns, come first to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Trust in heaven’s promises. In that regard Alma's testimony is my testimony: "I do know," he says, "that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions."

In the Bible the woman who touched Christ’s garment and was healed is a wonderful example of faith, determination, and resoluteness. Her motives were pure. There was no hypocrisy or deception, as she hoped her actions would go unnoticed. She did not want to inconvenience the Master or disturb those listening to Him. The woman had spent all her income on physicians, expecting to be cured of a blood disease, but to no avail. With great faith, this sister disciple sought out Jesus and in the midst of a crowd “came behind him, and touched the border of his garment� and was healed. Jesus experienced the withdrawal of spiritual power. He inquired of His disciples, “Who touched me?� The disciples pointed to the multitude thronging about Him and suggested that it could be any number of persons. Jesus persisted, sensing the special person in His midst and the nature of the event. The woman then came forward. “Trembling, and falling down before him, she declared unto him before all the people for what cause she had touched him, and how she was healed immediately.

“And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace� (see Luke 8:43–48).

And Finally the conference address says:

If you are lonely, please know you can find comfort. If you are discouraged, please know you can find hope. If you are poor in spirit, please know you can be strengthened. If you feel you are broken, please know you can be mended.

Today, I can't help but think that by no accident do things happen. Even in my abuse I know there is power to heal and to mend. I know that while some of my experiences have been awful, most and many more, have been good.

I know that what I learn at my church is good, that I have been taught many wonderful things, that I have felt wonderful things, and that I have found peace in them. I know that Jesus Christ, whose birth we celebrate this year, is wonderful, and that he loves me. I know that the words of these men and women in our church are true, and loving and that they are inspired.

I seek to have the Faith to be whole, to be mended, and this time I want to have a choice, to choose the best parts of me to put back together. Actually, I quite believe today that I am looking forward, with Faith, to it!

Love and greetings, Merry Christmas, to you, my friends, who are with me on the way to my healing....I do pray that your holidays are safe, warm, healthy, and happiness be yours. Know that you are making a difference in my life, which is making a difference in my children's lives.

Love and gratitude to you!

Friday, December 19, 2008

HELLO AGAIN: 43 minutes past HEAVEN

great show...see this post for a complete list of the
excellent music he sang....

(things missing: Suzanne....the song, and the sister
Nat Nat,
and all you Neil FANS who we missed being with tonight :(....)

the best part of the show was being there with Clarissa
and seeing her fall head over heels
for my rock star.

knuckle clutch....the brainwashing has taken over!!!

check out her version...coming as soon as
i release my position
at the helm of blogger!

okay okay....i do have to be the mommy...
it would not be responsible to allow her
to stay up blogging....after taking her
to a CONCERT...but who says I am responsible...check out those high heels
she is wearing IN THE SNOW....straight out of the
movie Grease.WHICH second to Neil Diamond,
is my favorite childhood memory.

And my little Clarissa Rose looked SO GOOD, in her BLUEJEANS,
with these fabulous shoes wrapped
around her piggies!

anyhow, you Clarissa Corner fans...
YOU know who you are. will just have to wait for her version...

in the meantime, here's mine!~

our white knight aka, Uncle Kim, showed about 5:45pm
me, still yelling at the kids,
doing hair, ironing my shirt...
where does the time go?

(i sure interrupt myself a lot, must work on that)

the boys...well, let's just say, were
SO GLAD to be allowed to stay home.

TO BE MY FIRST CONCERT...are you trying
to ruin my life" close quote!

...We were off to Indochine Bistro for dinner...after a lovely dinner we were dropped
off right out front of the Arena.

What service!!!...I did notice
we were the ONLY ones dropped
off four wheel drive white stallion style,
excellence to driver Kimbo
(I think that is what
I heard Aunt Liz call him!!!)

...after a fabulous two hours
of harmonic, melodic, BEAUTIFUL NOISE;
we were picked up
yet again, quick and close, and WARM.
THANKS, for the ride, and the safety,
in attending to our addictions, and our infatuations.

YES, indeed, a wonderful NIGHT...almost an August Night.
Puns completely intended, and meant to be
understood by REAL NEIL fans!

...speaking of RESPONSIBLE.
it would not be nice
of me to lie this close to Christmas,
too possible that I could end up on the NAUGHTY list...
oh wait, already there.

Clarissa CHOSE to BLOG THIS in the morning...
too tired; too dreamy!

sweetie...and shall i start saving for the road trip roadies
Neil will be back, and forth....and even a little behind from
time to time...
Clarissa will NEVER let me go to Phoenix for a Neiltrip again

G'nite...sleep tight....and careful
whose boots end up under your bed.
another pun...
....interested parties must contact partyrrrrrs for the details!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

past present future

in case you lost track of time....23 hours and 13 minutes to go...
in the meantime, live in the past... know who you are...
my condolences to anyone who will not be
attending with us...
sorry certainly wont be the same without you...
Nat Nat, you just wait, he goes around, he comes around...
we'll rock again, as the tour turns tide.
colleen, marissa, all you who are tearing up
and missing year!!!

Silly Sam

As I dropped Clarissa off to Activity Days tonight, her last one, she graduates from Primary on Sunday...
So strange.

...I am trying to get the boys to stop chattering so that I can get and give some instructions because she has to be picked up early, per her having to perform in her school Choir tonight.

I finally say, "hopefully I will get you on time, hope that we got it figured out."

In such confusion
but with complete understanding
of what I was saying to Clarissa
Sam looks at me and says:

"Trouble is spelled B- R- O- T- H- E- R- S."

And then he knuckle clutches me,
which is somewhat like a high five.

And Jeremy says:

So I did. Hello,.....Again....everyone.
Happy Holidays.

37 hours and 27 minutes...

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

repost: why memory making matters!

because i needed the reminder today...

Just trying to matter!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Thanksgiving Take Two

this should be no problem...

oh yeah...bring it on!
...right back atcha....
yeah...oh brother...still no problem

Confidence and Concentration...
Alright then, game on!!!

that wasn't suppose to happen...

...better get serious...

not sure what to think about this
...but thinking...

oh yeah baby!

just wait till you fall asleep tonight!
notice [above] how Sam
is COVERING the goal
at this point...

...oh yeah baby!
[still not sure who won...
..maybe it was me, the lottery.
such cute kids.]

my happiness!

Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers
“You will have significant experiences. I hope that you will write them down and keep a record of them, that you will read them from time to time and refresh your memory of those meaningful and significant things. Some may be funny. Some may be significant only to you. Some of them may be sacred and quietly beautiful. Some may build one upon another until they represent a lifetime of special experiences.” ~Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley


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