Saturday, September 30, 2006

Twins on the way

Sunday, September 24, 2006

We are having the Richards over today. They are very good friends of ours. We enjoy their company. Gavin is trying to get his hunting license so he can go with Jeremy Richards. They have a new baby girl. I am thankful today to be able to hold the baby and visit with good old friends.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Today I was able to go with Clarissa to Timpanogus Cave in American Fork Canyon. We hiked to the caves and took the cave tour with her 4th grade class. We have a history in our family with the caves. Martin Hansen is my great great grandfather. The tour guide knows my grandfather, who still lives in American Fork, they worked in the School District teaching together and actually grew up together. He knows the family history and made the tour really fun for Clarissa. We were very lucky. His name is Arlough Shelley. They Shelley Elementary in American Fork is named after his Grandfather. My grandfather was the principal there for years. I really enjoyed today. The fall leaves are beautiful in the canyon. It felt really peaceful to be in the canyon and I enjoyed the day with my daughter.

Talk to Yourself and Affirmations discussion:
The things that I felt were most important were the ideas for re-programming my thinking; using self-talk, writing and recognizing the things that I say and think that are negetive, and the effective way that Helmstetter presented the process of truly controlling your own success by taking responsibility for your negative behaviors and thinking. This book affected my life by giving me the opportunities to recognize so many of the negative behaviors, habits, and attitudes that influence my feelings and actions. While I as reading I found myself saying..."I do that...oops, I do that too." I went back over the previous chapters when I realized how much I was being affected by reading this and really marked up and underlined and commented about the points presented. I found myself beginning to change the way that I self-talk and how I am raising my children by about chapter 5. I have even shared a great deal of the knowledge with my older children, ages 9 and 12. I told them to start thinking about what they say and think and that they really can change their own negative thinking about homework, school, etc. by being positive and realizing their infinite potential. Tonight as I sat to post this I said something negative about how I was running out of time to take the test on the book and how I was getting frustrated as they all have needs and questions for me at the same time. I even commented that I was not on the level of some of the other moms we know in being able to meet their needs "perfectly" (very sarcastic and negative). My son pointed out to me that I was not thinking very positively and he said, "Mom, that was not really a positive self-talk now was it?" He told me I was doing fine and that it really didn't matter if I made home made milkshakes or had a perfectly clean house, he was doing just fine without those things. I really saw what Helmstetter talks about with raising children and it being probably the most productive area of improvement. Children are very much the example to follow. They accept things and apply them. Hopefully I will better begin to apply the lessons in this book and recognize the simplicity in living a positive life through re-programming the negative influences that I have thus allowed to penetrate me so deeply. This book really does make you stop and think....before you speak. I think that for me I loved the idea of looking at what outcome you desire and then working backwards from that. Recognizing the idea of programming....understanding your beliefs....how they effect your attitude....which creates in you feelings....that you act upon....and you have results in your life. I will certainly begin to apply the positive re-programming in my life and I will be successful at it because I will teach it to my children and they will continue to remind me and exemplify its concepts. Thanks for a good read!



Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Today is Pack Meeting for scouting. This is my Gavin’s last Pack Meeting, as he will be twelve in two days. He is helping the troop retire a flag. It will be a beautiful ceremony. They are going to talk of liberty and freedom and the flag, then play taps and do the flag burning, in respect. I think it will be a good experience for our family, especially looking toward Veterans Day in November. I try to teach them to be so courteous and respectful of the flag and America.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The meeting yesterday was all I expected. My kids could really feel the reverence for the flag, something they and I will never forget. I was really proud watching Gavin help with the ceremony and be so respectful. Today Gavin has a court of honor; he is being awarded his aquaknot. This should be fun, with the older scouts. Today I am really thankful for friends who see me struggeling and help. Wednesdays are always really busy, with Piano, Library, Scouts, Soccer, so many activities on one night. My neighbor friend brought us some dinner that she had left from her family tonight. I was very grateful to her.




Thursday, September 28, 2006

Today is Gavin’s 12th Birthday. He has soccer tonight, so it will be pretty much a typical day. My little boys are so excited to do something for Gavin. They have wrapped up some of their precious toys and given them to him. He was really cool about it. We are taking Gavin out to dinner tomorrow night. Today I as thankful to see how much my kids love each other.


Friday, September 29, 2006

Today is a vacation day for the kid’s school. I had to find someone to watch them for me to go to my Math class. Gavin went with me, he is taking Pre-Algebra in his 6th grade class and it was really fun to take him with me to my lecture, although he chuckled at me learning this now, in my “old” age. I took him to the bookstore and he spent an hour picking out a pen for his birthday. Tonight we are going to take him to dinner and to buy a suit.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Last night was fun. We took Gavin to dinner and then to a movie he wanted to see. Brian is going to take him shopping for a suit today. We just wanted to have a relaxing evening, and Gavin really wanted to see School of Scoundrels. It was a funny movie, and fun to watch him laugh so much. Today we are going to the Cabin for the weekend. I picked up my niece yesterday when we visited my grandparents in American Fork. She will be going with us for the weekend. Her mom is carrying the twins and due the end of November. She is on bedrest and so we are trying to help with Zoe as much as possible. My brother called from Portland, he is going to come back here to help with my sister on Wednesday and stay for a while until the twins are born. We hope that Sheri will be able to carry them as long as possible.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Timpanogus Cave










The 4,000 pound "Heart" of Timpangos.


Today I was able to go with Clarissa to Timpanogus Cave in American Fork Canyon. We hiked to the caves and took the cave tour with her 4th grade class. We have a history in our family with the caves. Martin Hansen is my great great grandfather. The tour guide knows my grandfather, who still lives in American Fork, they worked in the School District teaching together and actually grew up together. He knows the family history and made the tour really fun for Clarissa. We were very lucky. His name is Arlough Shelley. The Shelley Elementary in American Fork is named after his Grandfather. My grandfather was the principal there for years. I really enjoyed today. The fall leaves are beautiful in the canyon. It felt really peaceful to be in the canyon and I enjoyed the day with my daughter.

Some fun facts:
Martin Hansen (yes, our Hansen heritage!) discovered Hansen Cave in October of 1887, reportedly while tracking a cougar high up the side of American Fork Canyon.
Timpanogos Cave National Monument is a cave system in the Wasatch mountains in American Fork Canyon near American Fork, Utah, in the United States. The 1.5 mile trail to the cave is steep at several points, but paved and wide, so the cave opening is accessible to most. Tours are run when the monument is open, usually from May through October depending on snow conditions.
There are three main chambers accessible in the tour: Hansen Cave, Middle Cave, and Timpanogos Cave. Many colorful cave features or speleothems can be seen. Among the most interesting are the helictites, which are like hollowed straws of rock. They are thought to be formed when water travels through the tube and then evaporates, leaving a small mineral deposit at the end. Other speleothems found in the cave include: cave bacon, cave columns, flowstone, cave popcorn, cave drapery, stalactites and stalagmites.
The man credited with discovering Timpanogos Cave was named Vearl J. Manwill. He came with the Payson Outdoors Club in 1921. After doing the tour of Hansen's Cave, they went different ways to try to find the rumored cave. Vearl went up above Hansen's, alone. After a little way, he found a crack, and looked in. He called the rest of the club to come look at what he had found.
That fall, George Heber Hansen and Wayne E. Hansen, Martin Hansen's son and grandson, were hunting on the other side of the canyon. While using binoculars to try to find deer, they came across another hole in the mountain, in between the other two caves. In a few days they came back, with 74 year-old Martin Hansen. Martin was the first human being in the cave, now called Middle Cave.
Middle Cave and Timpanogos Cave were discovered in an era where their formations and resources could be protected. The National Park Service, which oversees and preserves the cave complex, has continued to develop new ways to retain its natural features, including limiting lighting in the caves to retard growth of invasive organisms.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

missed flights....

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Today was the day for my ultrasound. Looks like I don’t have any visible problems with gallbladder, kidney and liver, so the next look will be directly at the tumor, I guess. I really think that I can take some time before I really deal with this to get through this Semester. We’ll see, but I don’t want to have to take the time for surgery right now.

Friday, September 22, 2006.

We get to visit with my brother today at the airport during his layover. I miss him so much and wish he could live here again. I know he has to be in Portland with my other brother and his girlfriend, they are expecting a baby, and that is home to them now, but I miss him so much, we have a great time together. I am so thankful today that we will get to spend an hour with him.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Jake, my brother missed his flight, because we tried to squeeze every minute out of the visit. It sucked for him. He ended up there another 5 hours and we couldn’t see him because he was stuck past security trying to get on a plane home. He had to work at 4 am today, so he had to get home. I felt really bad. Our day today is crazy. Brian has to do a film from the award he won for Toyota, about our trip to Japan last spring. Sam has soccer at 11am, Gavin has a birthday party at noon, Sam has a party at 2, all the kids have a primary activity at 3 pm, Gavin has Soccer at 4:30. Everything overlaps. I am most thankful today that we are healthy and able to do so many things, and that there are two parents to get the kids to all their activities. They are blessed with friends and good health to enjoy all the activities they have. I am probably most thankful that all days are not quite like this one.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

a new tumor?

Monday, September 18, 2006

This journal writing is a really interesting process. I have usually kept a handwritten journal but never stay up on it. I think that I am finding that by typing it I am enjoying it much more and getting it done better. I can type so much faster. I like the personalization of the handwritten journal but if this works for now I think I will continue it even after the class. There is so much to be missed in not doing it consistently that the impersonalization of typing is a minor thing next to not journaling at all.


Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Today was my doctor’s appointment. I apparently have a new tumor growing. I will have to go in later this week for an ultrasound to begin looking at what needs to be done. Gavin had soccer today. I love being outdoors, enjoying the weather while it is still a beautiful beginning to Fall.

Plan of Action discussion entry:
For me it was not really difficult to write down my goals. I was able to find something in each area of my life that I really would like to see improve. It took a great deal of time to write them and then to go through the process of setting a completion date and filling in the additional information. I realized that my goals all really were very personal and would benefit my family and myself the very most. The other difficult part was making them work with our routines and also easily fit into making daily life more enjoyable without causing any more stress. I really thought of the things that would relieve thetensions and frustrations of everyday, and came up with solutions that would benefit everyday and relieve those stresses. I set mainly completion dates that were similar for many of the goals to keep myself tracking and creating better habits. I also wrote in my day planner the dates and some check point dates to evaluate how I was doing, that took a bit of time and planning that was beyond, but will help me to keep focused on the intended outcome, accomplishing each goal successfully. I learned in writing them down that improvement really only takes one step at a time!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I nearly wrote 1996 on the date today; flashbacks to earlier years. I have many wonderful memories. That would have been the year we were expecting our daughter. We, of course, didn’t know she was a girl at the time, but beautiful anticipation of adding another baby to our family. My son will be turning twelve next week. It is very hard to believe that he is getting up there in years. Today my daughters class was suppose to go to Silver Lake but it has begun to snow a bit in the mountains. The teachers have postponed the field trip to later next week, when the weathers should clear again. Yesterday was so beautiful and warm, it is so weird how the weather changes so drastically overnight.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Jake's leaving :(

Saturday, Sept. 16, 2006

Today was pretty much the calm before the storm; literally, the weather took a turn and kept going. We had snow on the roof today. The kid’s soccer games were canceled so we just played board games all day. Jake and I went to the store and got veggie burgers to bar-b-que. Then we went out to see Jinga Boa at the Rose Wagner Black Box Theatre. We had a blast. He leaves tomorrow morning for Arizona to see our sister. I will miss him. When we got home we woke up the older kids and watched Elf until 2 am. I am beat. Today when we got home from Regional Conference Brian pulled in the driveway, I was asleep in the car and he just left me there to sleep. I woke up once and layed my seat back and slept another hour. When I came in the house he had a fire going (60 degrees in the house, it’s getting cold already) and he made me a sandwich. I helped our oldest son to work on a talk he has to be giving; we just really took it easy today. Brian cleaned out the fish tank, bird cages, and hamster house. I read to him while he was cleaning. We have had a good day and I am getting to be early to catch up on some well needed rest. Tomorrow is a new day, Math and for once NOTHING on the calendar. This week is looking really good to me and I think I will be able to finish my goal writing, get some housework done, and put some things in perspective so that I can manage the rest of the semester. I also need to get to the doctor this week to find out why I feel so bad. I have also gained 8 pounds in about a week or so, rapid weight gain doesn’t seem right to me. Positive thing: a good week a head and a really good day of relaxation and family time today.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Getting a B

Friday, September 15, 2006

Well, I didn’t fail, but I got a B, which is pretty much unacceptable for me. I know that I need to work on my expectations of myself. Part of my responsibility for this is that I didn’t sleep at all last night. Jake and I stayed up to 2:30 am watching movies and chatting. Then when I went to bed, Brian woke me up and said I need to talk. We talked till dawn. I still thought that I could pull it off, with my test, but I missed all the easy questions and one was simply because I didn’t add correctly. I could not believe it. The professor told me not to worry about it, he even said I could still get an A out of the class, with four more tests (and you can retake two of them), but I was still disappointed because I have too high of expectations. Jake told me not to worry about it because I will end up some day having professors who refuse to give A’s no matter how hard you try, and he said I should think of how worth it it was to talk to Brian because things are definitely getting better. He is right. I also had an amazing time with him and have an idea for a folio article from the seminar last night. I love writing. The positive note today is that we happened to be down at the library during the bombing on the third floor. The kids were stunned, and Jake and I still have a hard time believing it happened, but we were all fine. We heard it and immediately Jake said, hey let’s get going. We didn’t know what had happened, so we just took the elevator to the top and walked down. By the time we did they had been evacuating the whole building. The kids were scared getting in to the elevator, and in hindsight, that wasn’t such a good call. Sam sat on the floor and held his knees to his chest; I could tell he was near tears. I just grabbed his had and told him all was well. It took us one hour to get around the block to go home once we got into the car. Crazy business, but the positive thing today, we are all well. Gavin had a soccer game in Tooele. It was good to drive out there. The sunset was phenomenal. We stopped at the old Saltair to take pictures. The firebirds won their game. Gavin was so siked.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

One Weeks Weakness

Thursday, Sept 7, 2006

Today I made it to class on time, thank goodness. My sister actually walked the kids in for me to be able to leave. Sam had tears again but he did better with her. I am going to have lunch at the school and recess today so we will see how things went. I had a dentist appointment at 11 am., had to leave my class a bit early. It was nice to lie down for an hour and a half. I am so tired much of the time. I noticed that I am not finding the positive things in the past couple of journal entries. Today I really struggled again. After school was busy and I had to get back to the school by 6:30 for Back to School night. Jeremy’s kindergarten teacher asked me to be her Room Mother and Volunteer Coordinator. I am already chairing the School Community Council and doing room mom assignments for the 6th grade classes. The positive thing that I did today was to tell her that I could not take on that much more but that I would organize and find someone to do it tonight at Back to School night. Gavin’s soccer practice was canceled, so I was able to leave him with the kids to go to the school. Brian should be getting home soon.

Friday, Sept. 8, 2006

Wow, when it rains it pours. Brian’s work hours are killing him and me both. He did not make it off work and so Gavin had to do the whole evening routine with the kids. We never leave the kids alone so I was freaking out. Positive note, all is well. The kids were great; they finished up their dinner, read books, brushed teeth, and cleaned up most of the house. If it didn’t worry me so much I would leave them more often. They were amazing, helpful, kind to each other and worked together. I was really proud of them and mostly thankful they were safe. Gavin had a soccer game tonight. They did okay, the team needs more work together and they will improve. This is his first year playing competition soccer and he loves it.

Sept. 9, 2006

Busy day today; soccer at 9 am and 4 pm. Clarissa has a birthday party as well. Today I am glad that Brian and I can work together getting every where we need to be. I thought that I would get a lot more done and didn’t. I am looking forward to my brother coming to visit from Portland the week.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Today I just slept for as long as I could. I am so tired, emotionally, physically and mentally and need a break. I got up to put on a Brisket for dinner and get the kids off to church and went back to bed. After a long shower I was feeling better. We went swimming at a friend’s house for the afternoon. The kids really played well together. They are so fun to watch when they are getting along. Brian and I spent a good time talking which was nice. I miss the down time with him.

Monday, Sept. 11, 2006

September 11th… I think that today everyone will be thinking of being grateful. I know that I began the day feeling just thankful for our safety in my little part of the world. I am aware of so many circumstances close to us that are so devastating, and then you start to think of the circumstances of the world and the children of the world and it is another one of those overwhelming things for me. I picked my brother up at the airport, yes he flew in today, and we had a delightful time. Went to the school for Jeremy after Kindergarten and had lunch and recess with the kids. We played kickball with the 6th graders and then I drove Jake down to Ceder Hills to stay with my older sister for a few days. She is pregnant with twins, 29 weeks along and bigger by far than I could ever imagine being while pregnant. I felt so much pain for her. I need to be working some things out to be helping her more for the next bit.

Multiple Intelligences discussion:
There was little information on the theory of Multiple Intelligences (MI) to go by in gaining an appreciation of the insight gained by taking this test, however, the information was specific and very simple to understand. In my opinion the theory of MI relates to values and self image because as Garner stated: "Intelligence refers to the human ability to solve problems or to make something that is valued...as long as we can find a culture that values and ability to solve a problem or create a product ... then I would strongly consider whether that ability should be considered an intelligence." As I reflected on the meaning of this and the additional information given on the conceptof MI I thought of all the diversity in our world and the very different types of jobs, careers and interests we have as humans. It takes ALL of these to create a world that we as humans can function in comfortably. I watched a movie recently called "the Island". It's basic idea is that there are people created, like cloning, to be used as a "real" persons insurance policy. If something goes wrong you have your own DNA to replace organs, blood transfusions, etc. These clones are implanted with memories, given jobs to do, and specific diets to maintain a perfect mental, emotional, and physical health. They are kept in a facility under the false knowledge that the world is contaminated and that they are all "survivors" of some tragedy. There is a lottery to go to the "Island" (which really means that the "human" has cashed in their life insurance and the clone will be donating their "life" to save the person). I probably thought of this because in the movie every clone had a job, a specific thing that they did that kept them busy and healthy. Every human being uses their intelligence to create an environment that is benificial to most living beings. Multiple intelligences suggests that we all have different values and abilities, our self-image is a factor in that it is what we believe we are capable of that allows us to be successful or even seek success in certain areas. If we believe that we are good at something we most likely will seek employment in that area. I think that being aware of this will help me to direct my success in the areas that I am interested. I will be more positive with myself, help my children to seek success in their areas of interest and value and also, see a greater self image in hopes of recognizing strengths and working on weaknesses to make them strengths.



Tuesday, Sept. 12, 2006

Today was a pretty good day for all of us. I am trying to get a bunch of things done before Jake come to stay on Thursday. School went well, I loved the NPR talk today. I just felt that I was really engaged. I had a meeting, School Community Council, after school. Samuel had been asked by the first grade teachers to come in and help train the reading parents after school. That coincided well with my meeting. I was really impressed once again with my kid’s behavior and ability to work together. The meeting lasted an hour and a bit, we didn’t get home until nearly 5 pm. I had to get Gavin to soccer practice so we had a quick dinner and got him there. I tried to get caught up on some homework but am really having a hard time getting everything done. Brian is still getting home later than usual and we are hitting heads about all the responsibilities and anxiety and overwhelming issues. I know that we just need a good conversation or two. We really have good relationship skills and usually can work things out but I am at a breaking point. The positive thing today was the kids being so good. And during story time, Sam said to me that he would like to know when you go to college. I told him when you are 18 or 19. He said he meant what time is you class. I told him you can have classes any time of the day. He asked if 10:00 would work. I said yes. He said good because he wants to go be a reading teacher with Mrs. Johnson when he goes to college. I thought it was so sweet and amazing that he had such a good experience today. I am thankful for good teachers. We should do so much more to appreciate them.


Wednesday, Sept. 13, 2006

Brian is really frustrated with me and he has let me know it today. I am so worried because I can see that he is under a lot of stress at work. I have also been really difficult to him because of my stresses. I tried earlier today to get him to talk to me but he just said he is done. Today was that way for me too. I didn’t do well on the practice test for math, and still don’t understand some of the simpler concepts. After school the kids had piano lessons, I feel like I am running a Taxi today. I haven’t had time to shower yet and feel like I am going to break. I have had neighbor moms call me to help shuttle their kids to Scouts tonight, my kids piano is going over. The schedule today is crazy and completely unbelievable. 3:00 – pick kids up from school, 4:00 Sam’s piano lesson (my good friend sees the condition of my face – worry, stress, tired – and offers to bring up a quick dinner, I accept) 4:30 shuffle Sam home from Piano and get Clarissa to her lesson, 5:15: pick up Clarissa (she is not done, working on her recital piece). I have to come back this way to take the neighbor boy to scouts in 15 minutes anyways. Drop him to Scouts 5:45 – Pick up Clarissa. See a neighbor walking home, give her a ride. Her son and my son have scouts in 20 minutes so I pick up her boy and come home to get Gavin. My neighbor is bringing my dinner over; she sees the chaos of the house in its entirety. I don’t think I have ever had such disarray going on. I know that the positive thing in this is that our lives are so full. And I should also recognize that while I was giving service to others I was also being served in return. Sometimes we don’t feel the effects of our helping others so quickly. I am also in a lot of pain from this growth in my abdomen and need to get it looked at. My kidneys and gallbladder are hurting as well. I have never had to really deal with so much weird stuff going on and all the chaos on top of it. I have to go get my brother tonight from Cedar Hills.

Sept. 14, 2006

My sister Jenny’s birthday. This morning I get time off from my English class, needing to go to a seminar tonight at 7 pm. I didn’t leave last night until really late to pick up by brother. Brian got home late and I could tell he needed to talk. He is so angry at me. I got him to talk about what is going on. I just promised to listen and not defend anything he said. To validate how he is feeling he just needs to know I care and love him very much. I am glad that we spent the time talking. Things are going to get much better. On the way to Utah County I nearly ran out of gas. I think that was my breaking point. I couldn’t stop crying and realized that like the car, I was running out of gas. Today by far has to be better. This morning we took cupcakes into the Kindergarten class where Jenny is the Teachers Aide. Then when we picked Jeremy up after school (half day) we took Jen to lunch. This afternoon Sam had reading training for first grade again. We all just hung out at the school. I saw some kids who I know waiting for their mom to pick them up. I could just see the stress in the older child trying to take care of his brothers and get his homework done. Gavin is friends with him and they have a singing performance at the Utah Museum of Art and History downtown tonight. Gavin also has soccer, but it is pretty bad weather so that may get canceled. We left to take him to his practice and it really was pouring so we ran home to have him change and dropped him off downtown. Tonight at 6:30 I was suppose to leave for the seminar but Brian was not home. I was sitting at the school waiting for Gavin’s bus to drop him back off with the choir kids. Finally I called home, and Brian was there, it was 5 to 7 pm and I am supposed to have been at Redwood campus by then. Jake came with me and we got there by 10 minutes to 8. The professor in this class is grading us on coming to this tonight and I didn’t make it only for the end. I am now really stressing about my schooling. I am trying to keep a 4.0 so that I can apply for scholarships and I just feel sabotaged right now by life experiences. I really need to get a tuition break and this is not going to help. I have a test in Math tomorrow morning and need to study.

Wednesday, September 6, 2006

I only have to go "half the days"...

Today Jeremy had a hard time going off to school. I woke him to get ready and he said to me, “You signed me up for half days, I only have to go half the days of school, I don’t have to go today.” I really laughed, now understanding what he said to his teacher yesterday, “No, No, I only take half days.” Last year I was talking to him about taking full day kindergarten and he said no way, now I get it. If I had a choice I think I would take half the days too. Today was busy. I had to do a room parent orientation after school from 3 – 4 pm. The kids have piano lessons from 4 – 5:30, then we have scouting after that to get to. It was such a busy day and then homework on top of that. I am not really getting my Math class at all, and can’t find time to study. I am getting really discouraged. And my 7 year old is crying when I drop him off to school, not wanting to go. Usually he is such a happy student. I am not sure what to do. Also, Brian is working late hours suddenly and it just feels overwhelming.

Tuesday, September 5, 2006

Jeremy's First Day of Kindergarten :(

First day of Kindergarten for my youngest son! I cried my eyes out (after I dropped him off, of course). He was crying and holding me so tight, like a little monkey. I couldn’t let go of him. It really was breaking my heart. Thank goodness for kissing hands (from a children’s story), and teachers who can take your child’s hand from yours when you can’t let go yourself. I had to speak to the new Kindergarten parents at the New Parent Breakfast (as the School Community Council Chair) within minutes of letting my last son go. My heart was pounding and I was on the verge of tears. I wasn’t sure that I could speak publicly and help these parents feel okay leaving their children for the first day when I was struggling so hard to leave my own. I pulled it off somehow, not as well as I could have, but I did it. The best part of the day was picking him up two and a half hours later. His teacher said “see you tomorrow” and he stopped and told her, “No, No, I only take half days.” I was grinning from ear to ear to have him back in my arms.

Monday, September 4, 2006

going home :)

Monday, Sept. 4, 2006

We head home today. I am missing my other children and Brian. I can’t wait to see them. It is always a great time visiting my sister and always hard to leave. The good things today are going home and knowing that I will be coming back soon enough (November!!!)

Sunday, September 3, 2006

catching up....maybe

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Today our schedule is CRAZY…school, piano, soccer, scouts, young men’s activity, my niece sleeping over; Gavin (12) has a bar-b-que to be to at 5 pm. I think I will be lucky to “get-er-done”. The dog ran away. Positive thing, companion animal recovery called and she was found, just around the block. At 9:30 pm I had to take all 5 kids in their pajamas to pick Emma, the dog, up. The lady’s home and life is in worse disarray then mine. After listening to her open up to me about her problems, I am thankful for mine. Positively thankful!

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Today was definitely better. I still didn’t accomplish much in light of all that needs to be done, but I was able to at least have a different perspective. Positive thing: perspective.


Friday, September 1, 2006

Today I woke up feeling really ill….not normal sickness symptoms. I had a full day planned, class, PTA meeting, pick up kids from school, clean and pack, fly to Arizona with my oldest son. I ended up in a doctor’s appointment and found that I have a tumor growing. The positive thing I guess is that it wasn’t all the other scary things that I was worrying about and I can still go to Arizona for the weekend.


Saturday, Sept. 2, 2006

The weather is hot and beautiful. I spent the day visiting an old friend who moved to Mesa. She is expecting her fourth child, and her first little girl. It was an amazing day to visit and took my mind off my worries for a bit. My son is staying in their home for the weekend and I am heading back to my sisters house in Phoenix. It is so hot, 110 degrees. Not very comfortable for Utah people, or anybody. It is beautiful here and the sunsets are amazing. I am not really fond of the desert scene, however I expect to look for something beautiful in it while I am here.

Sunday, Sept.3, 2006

We got out of Phoenix for the weekend and are staying in Flagstaff, actually right out of Flagstaff 20 minutes, at my sisters husbands family cabin. It is much cooler and very beautiful. Mountains and the pine trees. I am enjoying it. The quiet time is much needed for me right now. I have reflected quite a bit on the things that I am doing and the opportunities that I have. My responsibilities are so great to my kids and husband that I feel overwhelmed much of the time trying to do much else. This has been a good opportunity for me. I plan to walk quite a bit. Took a walk in the desert and found some really beautiful flowers. I made me realize that while something is baren and dry looking, it can have such hidden beauty.

my happiness!

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“You will have significant experiences. I hope that you will write them down and keep a record of them, that you will read them from time to time and refresh your memory of those meaningful and significant things. Some may be funny. Some may be significant only to you. Some of them may be sacred and quietly beautiful. Some may build one upon another until they represent a lifetime of special experiences.” ~Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley

COURAGE to HEAL

COURAGE to HEAL
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