One Weeks Weakness

Thursday, Sept 7, 2006

Today I made it to class on time, thank goodness. My sister actually walked the kids in for me to be able to leave. Sam had tears again but he did better with her. I am going to have lunch at the school and recess today so we will see how things went. I had a dentist appointment at 11 am., had to leave my class a bit early. It was nice to lie down for an hour and a half. I am so tired much of the time. I noticed that I am not finding the positive things in the past couple of journal entries. Today I really struggled again. After school was busy and I had to get back to the school by 6:30 for Back to School night. Jeremy’s kindergarten teacher asked me to be her Room Mother and Volunteer Coordinator. I am already chairing the School Community Council and doing room mom assignments for the 6th grade classes. The positive thing that I did today was to tell her that I could not take on that much more but that I would organize and find someone to do it tonight at Back to School night. Gavin’s soccer practice was canceled, so I was able to leave him with the kids to go to the school. Brian should be getting home soon.

Friday, Sept. 8, 2006

Wow, when it rains it pours. Brian’s work hours are killing him and me both. He did not make it off work and so Gavin had to do the whole evening routine with the kids. We never leave the kids alone so I was freaking out. Positive note, all is well. The kids were great; they finished up their dinner, read books, brushed teeth, and cleaned up most of the house. If it didn’t worry me so much I would leave them more often. They were amazing, helpful, kind to each other and worked together. I was really proud of them and mostly thankful they were safe. Gavin had a soccer game tonight. They did okay, the team needs more work together and they will improve. This is his first year playing competition soccer and he loves it.

Sept. 9, 2006

Busy day today; soccer at 9 am and 4 pm. Clarissa has a birthday party as well. Today I am glad that Brian and I can work together getting every where we need to be. I thought that I would get a lot more done and didn’t. I am looking forward to my brother coming to visit from Portland the week.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Today I just slept for as long as I could. I am so tired, emotionally, physically and mentally and need a break. I got up to put on a Brisket for dinner and get the kids off to church and went back to bed. After a long shower I was feeling better. We went swimming at a friend’s house for the afternoon. The kids really played well together. They are so fun to watch when they are getting along. Brian and I spent a good time talking which was nice. I miss the down time with him.

Monday, Sept. 11, 2006

September 11th… I think that today everyone will be thinking of being grateful. I know that I began the day feeling just thankful for our safety in my little part of the world. I am aware of so many circumstances close to us that are so devastating, and then you start to think of the circumstances of the world and the children of the world and it is another one of those overwhelming things for me. I picked my brother up at the airport, yes he flew in today, and we had a delightful time. Went to the school for Jeremy after Kindergarten and had lunch and recess with the kids. We played kickball with the 6th graders and then I drove Jake down to Ceder Hills to stay with my older sister for a few days. She is pregnant with twins, 29 weeks along and bigger by far than I could ever imagine being while pregnant. I felt so much pain for her. I need to be working some things out to be helping her more for the next bit.

Multiple Intelligences discussion:
There was little information on the theory of Multiple Intelligences (MI) to go by in gaining an appreciation of the insight gained by taking this test, however, the information was specific and very simple to understand. In my opinion the theory of MI relates to values and self image because as Garner stated: "Intelligence refers to the human ability to solve problems or to make something that is valued...as long as we can find a culture that values and ability to solve a problem or create a product ... then I would strongly consider whether that ability should be considered an intelligence." As I reflected on the meaning of this and the additional information given on the conceptof MI I thought of all the diversity in our world and the very different types of jobs, careers and interests we have as humans. It takes ALL of these to create a world that we as humans can function in comfortably. I watched a movie recently called "the Island". It's basic idea is that there are people created, like cloning, to be used as a "real" persons insurance policy. If something goes wrong you have your own DNA to replace organs, blood transfusions, etc. These clones are implanted with memories, given jobs to do, and specific diets to maintain a perfect mental, emotional, and physical health. They are kept in a facility under the false knowledge that the world is contaminated and that they are all "survivors" of some tragedy. There is a lottery to go to the "Island" (which really means that the "human" has cashed in their life insurance and the clone will be donating their "life" to save the person). I probably thought of this because in the movie every clone had a job, a specific thing that they did that kept them busy and healthy. Every human being uses their intelligence to create an environment that is benificial to most living beings. Multiple intelligences suggests that we all have different values and abilities, our self-image is a factor in that it is what we believe we are capable of that allows us to be successful or even seek success in certain areas. If we believe that we are good at something we most likely will seek employment in that area. I think that being aware of this will help me to direct my success in the areas that I am interested. I will be more positive with myself, help my children to seek success in their areas of interest and value and also, see a greater self image in hopes of recognizing strengths and working on weaknesses to make them strengths.



Tuesday, Sept. 12, 2006

Today was a pretty good day for all of us. I am trying to get a bunch of things done before Jake come to stay on Thursday. School went well, I loved the NPR talk today. I just felt that I was really engaged. I had a meeting, School Community Council, after school. Samuel had been asked by the first grade teachers to come in and help train the reading parents after school. That coincided well with my meeting. I was really impressed once again with my kid’s behavior and ability to work together. The meeting lasted an hour and a bit, we didn’t get home until nearly 5 pm. I had to get Gavin to soccer practice so we had a quick dinner and got him there. I tried to get caught up on some homework but am really having a hard time getting everything done. Brian is still getting home later than usual and we are hitting heads about all the responsibilities and anxiety and overwhelming issues. I know that we just need a good conversation or two. We really have good relationship skills and usually can work things out but I am at a breaking point. The positive thing today was the kids being so good. And during story time, Sam said to me that he would like to know when you go to college. I told him when you are 18 or 19. He said he meant what time is you class. I told him you can have classes any time of the day. He asked if 10:00 would work. I said yes. He said good because he wants to go be a reading teacher with Mrs. Johnson when he goes to college. I thought it was so sweet and amazing that he had such a good experience today. I am thankful for good teachers. We should do so much more to appreciate them.


Wednesday, Sept. 13, 2006

Brian is really frustrated with me and he has let me know it today. I am so worried because I can see that he is under a lot of stress at work. I have also been really difficult to him because of my stresses. I tried earlier today to get him to talk to me but he just said he is done. Today was that way for me too. I didn’t do well on the practice test for math, and still don’t understand some of the simpler concepts. After school the kids had piano lessons, I feel like I am running a Taxi today. I haven’t had time to shower yet and feel like I am going to break. I have had neighbor moms call me to help shuttle their kids to Scouts tonight, my kids piano is going over. The schedule today is crazy and completely unbelievable. 3:00 – pick kids up from school, 4:00 Sam’s piano lesson (my good friend sees the condition of my face – worry, stress, tired – and offers to bring up a quick dinner, I accept) 4:30 shuffle Sam home from Piano and get Clarissa to her lesson, 5:15: pick up Clarissa (she is not done, working on her recital piece). I have to come back this way to take the neighbor boy to scouts in 15 minutes anyways. Drop him to Scouts 5:45 – Pick up Clarissa. See a neighbor walking home, give her a ride. Her son and my son have scouts in 20 minutes so I pick up her boy and come home to get Gavin. My neighbor is bringing my dinner over; she sees the chaos of the house in its entirety. I don’t think I have ever had such disarray going on. I know that the positive thing in this is that our lives are so full. And I should also recognize that while I was giving service to others I was also being served in return. Sometimes we don’t feel the effects of our helping others so quickly. I am also in a lot of pain from this growth in my abdomen and need to get it looked at. My kidneys and gallbladder are hurting as well. I have never had to really deal with so much weird stuff going on and all the chaos on top of it. I have to go get my brother tonight from Cedar Hills.

Sept. 14, 2006

My sister Jenny’s birthday. This morning I get time off from my English class, needing to go to a seminar tonight at 7 pm. I didn’t leave last night until really late to pick up by brother. Brian got home late and I could tell he needed to talk. He is so angry at me. I got him to talk about what is going on. I just promised to listen and not defend anything he said. To validate how he is feeling he just needs to know I care and love him very much. I am glad that we spent the time talking. Things are going to get much better. On the way to Utah County I nearly ran out of gas. I think that was my breaking point. I couldn’t stop crying and realized that like the car, I was running out of gas. Today by far has to be better. This morning we took cupcakes into the Kindergarten class where Jenny is the Teachers Aide. Then when we picked Jeremy up after school (half day) we took Jen to lunch. This afternoon Sam had reading training for first grade again. We all just hung out at the school. I saw some kids who I know waiting for their mom to pick them up. I could just see the stress in the older child trying to take care of his brothers and get his homework done. Gavin is friends with him and they have a singing performance at the Utah Museum of Art and History downtown tonight. Gavin also has soccer, but it is pretty bad weather so that may get canceled. We left to take him to his practice and it really was pouring so we ran home to have him change and dropped him off downtown. Tonight at 6:30 I was suppose to leave for the seminar but Brian was not home. I was sitting at the school waiting for Gavin’s bus to drop him back off with the choir kids. Finally I called home, and Brian was there, it was 5 to 7 pm and I am supposed to have been at Redwood campus by then. Jake came with me and we got there by 10 minutes to 8. The professor in this class is grading us on coming to this tonight and I didn’t make it only for the end. I am now really stressing about my schooling. I am trying to keep a 4.0 so that I can apply for scholarships and I just feel sabotaged right now by life experiences. I really need to get a tuition break and this is not going to help. I have a test in Math tomorrow morning and need to study.