Missing Family Night

Probably the hardest thing about being gone for a week is missing family night. We have had Family Home Evening on Monday Nights since Clarissa was about two years old. I remember when we started having them I thought that I had messed up good, we hadn't started when we were first married, we hadn't done them when the kids were really little. Gavin was nearly four, Sam was on the way. Would they turn out okay? I still ask that, but for many worse reasons than not having Family Home Evening!

I guess that for me Family Home Evening is a staple. The one thing we do really, really well. It was fun last Monday, as Brian arrived home, I had not had the best of afternoons...losing my patience, feeling overwhelmed. I had not reminded the kids of their participation parts, and when Jeremy came in to announce to me that I had the "geek" scripture story (really meaning GAK - Gospel Art Kit, but I like how he said geek, so funny). I thought, well look who is not prepared this time. Oh well.

We sat down. The kids already laughing and enjoying themselves. The peace enveloping our home, even with my tirades. We began with the prayer, which after the song the kids reminded Dad that is why we have the song first, to get reverent for the prayer. Sam chose Popcorn Popping. I delighted in singing a springtime song in the fall. And loved watching Brian, always trying to follow along.

Then I had my Scripture Story. I had picked up the New Era and read the Mormon Ad; also talked about the scriptures that are in that New Era regarding the Atonement, which I so need to better understand and access.

I explained to the little boys that Clarissa and Gavin are reading the New Era, rather than the Friend, now, because they are older and it is more applicable to them. That was my part, it went okay.

As I tossed the New Era toward Gavin, thinking he would also have to "fake" his Lesson, he did the most hilarious thing. I totally thought that he wasn't prepared because I hadn't prompted, held his hand, reminded and nagged. He looked right at us all, reached in the back of his pants, and with a very excited "SHAZAM" pulled out the Friend Magazine. Everyone was rolling, I am sure partly at my reaction, because I was totally surprised. Here I had "judged" Gavin, thinking that he could not produce a lesson without me doing my "job" to make sure it ALL happens, and he was prepared all along. Clarissa led us in the pledge (which we added when Jeremy was born, to have another part.)

Yes, this rambling is more for me than anyone else. I learned a great lesson. Gavin read a story about doing service for others. He said that he would like our family to look around, find someone to serve, to rake leaves for "older" people, like even Mel, he is aging and we can do more for them. (His words! not mine). And he bore a sweet and simple testimony.

Brian had the song and prayer, which he did in the right order. I am reminiscing now about singing, Families Can Be Together Forever. I take it for granted that if I just worked a little harder on some things in my life, I could go to the temple, my family could be my promise forever. Now being away from them for a week, missing FHE, I want that so much. It seems unreal to me that I could already hurt missing them so much and to think of an eternity. They are worth it. I am worth it. This is my personal FHE today. I am thinking of putting things in my life in better order, so that I can have this blessing. I am not just denying it from myself, but from them. Jeremy had the treat, thank goodness we had made cookies that afternoon, which he did a great job of serving with milk!!! Yum.

So kids, I love you, Brian, I love you. I miss you terribly. I hope you have a beautiful FHE, and if you can, sing I Feel My Savior's Love...for me. And Yes, I realize that I have the lesson tonight. I missed it. And I am sorry that I am not there to give it. Please forgive me. Read 1 Nephi 3:7, Sing a few songs with Daddy, all the ones you love, and know I love (or have Daddy take you to Artic Circle for the square pumpkins and flashlights, and ice cream - for Family Night Out - since we haven't done it this month)...I Love you....I miss you...