Sometimes it was as simple as
and I can't believe
I have to write this in my journal."
We were required to write....and my mother checked to see that we had. I hated it then but I am SO THANKFUL that I learned such a habit that serves me so well now.
I have to write to process and to think and in my writing I find great appreciation for the processes and thinking that each day,
moment, and experience brings.
And so...I write.
My kids all have journals, and I don't check them...but they write, and sometimes I do tell them to go write...figure it out,
write how you are feeling and then we talk.
We also have letter journals in which I can write to my kids and they write back to me. Often a conference we all are found sitting with our journals...writing back and forth, and sometimes it isn't about conference, it is about the person sitting next to them that is BUGGING them.
I love to write, the power of words, and the way I can check in with myself. I know where I have improved, and where improvement is still needed.
I probably read three to four more books a year!
Jeremy asked me the other day "When are you going to bed?"
I didn't think much of it. "Soon" I told him.
I blew it off ...he was persistent enough that I finally said, "As soon as you quit asking me and I can get my teeth brushed."
Under my pillow this sweet boy had left his letter journal with the kindest most thoughtful letter to me. I really appreciated him in that moment, and learned that as a Mother I need to be better at listening to what my kids are telling me.
Listening and Hearing...
It is not in their words...it is in the feelings their words provoke.
Hmmmmm... After spending our DATE NIGHT on the bathroom floor holding hands with the toilet seat last night I find myself today quite sleepy in recovery.
Some weird flu I guess. A weird flu that kept Clarissa and Gavin both home on Tuesday, and Sam sleeping fitfully on the same bathroom floor that night.
In my peaceful recovery; peace of just resting and recovery of keeping to myself, I found a tidbit of wisdom.
The following message from President Kimball has caused me to ponder....
Topic: Keep Breathing
“I suppose if I have learned anything in life, it is that we are to keep moving, keep trying—as long as we breathe!
If we do, we will be surprised at how much more can still be done.”
- Spencer W. Kimball,
"Do Not Weary by the Way,”
Ensign (CR), November 1980, p. 76
Well, I am still breathing....and so today, in the fashion of my old journal writing...
Today I am here, and here I am. Happy to be a mother, and thankful to be a wife. On my way to get my kids, and hoping to blissfully listen to them about their day, to hear them and to feel what they are saying to me.