Perspective

99.999999999999 infinity pErSpeCtiVe i have comes from the wisdom of my kids.

I take credit for half of it,
because HALF of the time I am listening...

Of course we had a SPECIAL faMily hOme evEning leading up to the blessed event of the morrow...which blessed event is keeping me awake for at least another 10 hours. a VERY WISE cousin/friend/sister of mine told me once that she isn't planning on SLEEPING through anything, she could "sleep when she's dead" i think were close to her exact words.

[u know who you are ....]

So I figure since they are MAKING me sleep through something that feels like death to me tomorrow that I am going to get as much out of tonight as I can....if your up, SO AM I!!!!
so....sitting here, pondering TOO much i began to see the humor in some of this.

Yes, I still have a sense of humor,
as far as the pendulum of grief swings,
thus swings my HUMOR....


I might just be naked running through the house tomorrow morning....who knows!!!

[read on if this shocks you, or better yet, maybe don't read on]

Back to our Family HORROR Evening Monday night. Brian decided to lead a discussion on how this was all going to go down. In an effort to be reverent I did NOT document with pictures. However he had me stand in front of the kids white board and then somewhat lovingly drew a picture of my profile....


I was a bit offended until I realized his wisdom. My profile looked like I had eaten the three pigs, and two of three houses for dessert. I watched him draw inside my large balloon like love handle a baby.

He explained that this was where each of them grew, and then quickly inserted that he was in NO WAY
leading into sex ed. so we could all calm down.

He then talked a bit about Clarissa's surgery years ago to remove her appendix, something she no longer needed, she was healed and that she was healthy.

He explained that being each of them as our children were already here that this part of mommy that was making her not well needed to be removed. That it wouldn't change anything about mommy only that I would feel better.

I was hanging on to every word he was breathing, as if somehow my spiritual well being depended on his perspective. And oh, how it does.


I watched him draw a thinner version of me, [yes, I WISH it were that easy, LOL].
He showed that something was growing in mom that wasn't as wonderful as each of them, and it was causing me pain and impatience.

[Yes, not so FUNNY!]

Then he erased the tumor....and the 'part', "mom's uterus", to which the boys giggled, and said that was all that needed to be done.

He asked who could help mom to heal, and unlike the fairy tale and nursery rhymes of no one wanting to do the work and everyone wanting to eat the bounty, everyONE of my lovely blessings willingly raised their hands, sat a little closer to me and said, "I will."

Jeremy said, "Since I AM THE BABY you really don't need that part anymore mom so you really shouldn't feel bad. You already have me."

And do you know what....he is so right!




Tonight as I am running around, giving myself one last chance to really feel the painful reasons that I am willing [sort of] to do this tomorrow,

I found this note:

Mom,

i love you
[excerpts]
...i can't wait to see you in that wonderful
and GLORIOUS most attractive gown EVER!

even a princess/queen/slash model
would be JEALOUS....

HAHAHA NOT!

jk...you'll look great!


--clarissa

Thanks Clarissa....

I can't wait to see YOU tomorrow as well!

oh, and I LOVE YOU TOO!!!
and your brothers,
who we know you believe
are just an illusion
because you are really an ONLY child!

HAHAHAH jk....
NOT!
they really ARE your brothers!!!!

guess i have the last laugh after all.
♥U