Hospital Humor starring Mr. B

Before i forget to post some of Brians classic humor moments I better record them. Yes, even in the hospital, in the waiting room, he can find something completely ridiculous to say.

Upon our arrival I had to touch a computer screen to register...gross. Then we had to pick a beeper and sit in the waiting room. Already my compulsities were giving Mr B a good laugh. I picked number 801....for Gavins skate club:

RUN 801!

[always thinking I am!]

Mr. B held the beeper.

i couldn't find sanitizing wipes anywhere.

what is this,

a HOSPITAL???

so i faked a bathroom break

avoided the signs that said you had to ask a nurse

before using the ladies room.

As if they will really send me home.

No such luck!

I was called back,

and while Brian tried to send email

from his phone,

they squeeze the pee out of me

hooked me up to an IV,

and got me filling out paperwork.

Of course not without commentary from Brian.

Me: Could you take one more???

[copies of my hospital handcuff,

for lab stickers,

they took SIX,

an EVEN number,

i just wanted the lab tech

to make it SEVEN for LUCK!!!]

Lab tech: seriously???

Mr. B: Oh, she is serious.

LT: okay???

Mr. B to Lt: [aka small talk giant]

You married?

LT: yeah

mR. b: good luck with that.

we are going on near 20 years...

Me: ...of BLISS!

Mr. B: [choking] yeah,

BLISS???

When we were getting married,

I called Stacie to tell her our Phone Number,

OUR FIRST PHONE NUMBER!!!

So excited, days from our wedding...

I tell her: 582-4119

and SHE on the other line says:

"Can you get it changed???

I prefer odd numbers,

specifically

one with more

3's and 7's?"

the silence spoke chapters.

She was serious.

The phone lady

asked me if I was already married to THIS girl.

I had time to back out, she warned.

I married her anyway and it has been

well.....we are still married!

Dont worry, I always get the LAST LAUGH!

While I was in the operating room Mr. B sat patiently in the waiting room. He is always good for a laugh, no matter the circumstances. I am pretty sure he was the only one laughing at this one however.

Lullabies playing....babies being born, people quietly and somberly waiting for their loved ones to come out of surgery.

An older woman looks up,

hearing the lullaby she asks Mr. B:

Why do they keep playing that lullaby?

Mr. B responds:

They play that every time

a baby is born.

Haven't you heard,

they play

Another One Bites the Dust

when they lose one too!

That was the end of ANY

waiting room conversation for Mr. B.

[poor woman, looked down with disgust.]

I woke up after surgery to this:

day one

day two

a little laptop dance anyone!

I loved that Brian serenaded me with some

of his favorite tunes.

Thanks for the cheer....

day three

finally figured out how to override

the hospital syster,

using his phone as a motem.

WAY TO GO B!!!

everyday!

My legs got so itchy from the leg boots.

Thank you Mr. B

for the tender pampering.

Last Laugh!

On the day to check out Dr. Steele

came in and said,

"well, i have never seen this before!"

He continued, "I have never seena patient

write 'for now' after

their spouses declaration of

husband/wife!"

Me:

Well, I like to keep my options open!

He was bugging me in pre-op,

I figured we would see how recovery went!!!

Dr.: And????

Me:

I think I will KEEP him.

He's a KEEPER!

Love you Mr. B!