Broken

It will be Veterans Day tomorrow.

I have been still today.

Quiet, reflective, still.

I can't begin to imagine that I could write a thought that would ever bring light to the subject of what war means to those who are Veterans; or to those who know Veterans, and more, to those who have loss because of war.

I know that war was a subject that I never heard my Grandfather speak of until I had children of my own.

I know that my Grandmother never spoke of war without a shake in her voice, and tears in her eyes.

I know that war brings a blanket of sadness for both sides.

I want to write, for today, about my Grandfather.
Grandpa, a Veteran, a man of honor, of truth, of valiant courage, and a man of love.

I want to acknowledge that to him, he was only doing his part to fulfill a responsibility, much like we today, do what we can to fulfill ours.
But he did it for people he had only heard of, who he would never meet, who would never even know to thank him.

With many wars, even specifically today, there is no true thanks, only debates;
only people on both sides over-talking one another.

Is it right, wrong; who is right, wrong? I won't pretend to know or even understand.

And war is thankless; and it is not respected to the degree that we, who keep to our own responsibilities, should respectfully give thanks.

I hope in my life to honor my Grandfather. The man who as a boy signed a paper to serve, and said a prayer with a promise that he would do all that he was asked.

He lived every part of his life from then on to keep that promise, while hoping to keep the promise he made to my Grandmother; to come home.

But if it not be thy will, he would keep his word to protect those who could not protect themselves. The time of war, World War II; different than today, and yet the same.
Always a bullying problem in our world. Grandpa did not ask questions, only fulfilled his duty, with courage.

On the wings of a prayer, he came home. He didn't speak of what he had experienced, only cherished those who he was thankful to come home to.

Because he came home, I have Aunts and Uncles.
Because he came home I love education.
Because he came home I know that the most peaceful sound is that of the trumpet. I know what Taps is and I know what the meaning behind Taps is. I have heard him play for dozens of soldiers, not forgotten; ever, even in time of their own passing.

Because he came home, I know what it means to serve.
Because he came home, I think every lunch should respectively be a noon-time meal, and that no one should have to eat alone.

I know that it is okay to use your best china for lunch, and paper plates for fine dinners.

I know that cookies are full of nourishment, and if you have them with a glass of milk, they make a meal.

Because he came home I give thanks to all who serve, where ever they are asked, what ever they are asked to do, and with a full heart.

Because he came home, I know how to devour a good book. I know how to take quiet time, to take a walk away from the chaos of life, to reflect, to meditate, to ponder.

I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. I know that music lifts even the most down trodden. I know that blessings heal, and give guidance; which should be followed.

I know that dancing is delightful, that hard work won't kill you, that growing your own food is full of pleasure. I love the little lambs. I love the smell of rosemary, of aspens, of fish guts.

I love to feel the hand of someone I love holding mine.
I love to hug, and to kiss, and the words I love you can never be said too much.

I know that Brian deserves to be respected, to be loved entirely. To have my patience, my respect. I know that little snide comments hurt a man's heart, yet, forgiving, they will love until the end; and remember them no more. I know that it is possible for a man to love and cherish, protect and serve until even the bitter end.

I know that men love their children, even when they don't say and show it;
that love is deeper than a well of knowledge or understanding could possibly portray.
I know it is possible to spoil a grandchild, because you can't spank Grandpa and Grandma.

Because of Grandpa, I know that you can have favorites.

I know that messes are okay to make, and that "whatever" makes the little things matter, and the big things matter a little less.

I know that forgiveness does heal all things, and that the hardest forgiveness is that for your own mistakes.

I know that my Grandpa was never perfect, but that through the eyes of love, perfection is irrelevant. That living is more important that being perfect. I know that in each of my children are pieces of Grandfather; pieces that I hope they will cherish in themselves.

I know that I am loved.

I know that it is okay to eat dessert first, and to eat dessert all day long if you wish too; as long as no one is looking.

I know it is okay to dance alone, and it doesn't matter if anyone is looking.


My grandfather, who has blessed me in the hardest of my experiences, who has held me, who has laughed, smiled, loved my children, counseled me and my husband, eaten my cooking, cried openly, and prayed intently in faith; has shown me the way.

I know that love can last an entire lifetime.

I know that broken is better. And I know to where to look for healing.

I know that patience, love, long-suffering, and charity are the right way to live.

I know that he is intently aware of every one of his loved ones, so blessed to be many.

This song, is for you today, all of you who take the time to read my ramblings.

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlwMQBzfmc4

I know you, I am thankful for you.
To have family, and friends; who I know are hurting in many, many ways. Whether for the loss that is felt in times of death, or struggles with daily life experiences. You know who you are, I know who you are. It is for many of you today. May you feel some sense of peace, knowing that:
"When you're broken in a million little pieces,
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore.
Every tear falls down for a reason,
Don't you stop believing in yourself."

Lindsey Haun - Broken

Every piece will find a place:

Wake up to a sunny day,
not a cloud up in the sky.

Then it starts to rain,
my defenses hit the ground
And they shatter all around,
so open and exposed.

I found strength in the struggle
Face to face with my trouble.

When you're broken
in a million little pieces
And you're trying
but you can't hold on anymore.

Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken.

Little girl don't be so blue
I know what you're going through
Don't let it beat you up.

Hitting walls and getting scars
Only makes you who you are
Only makes you who you are

No matter how much your heart is aching

There is beauty in the breaking, Yeah.

When you're broken
in a million little pieces.

And you're trying
but you can't hold on anymore.

Every tear falls down for a reason,
Don't you stop believing in yourself.

When you're broken,
Better days are gonna find you once again.

Every piece will find its place
When you're broken, when you're broken.

xoxoxxx