melancholy

melancholy i am ....wish I could sleep. i am full of flashbacks.
some good, most not so good. i seem to be wide awake in a night terror.

i just need to find rest. peace. forgiveness. hope.

i know where my rest will come, i am just so stubborn, and sometimes find myself eaking out all the growing pains that i can...

until i finally realize that rest comes in Him. in the one being who really does know and understand our pain.

i know i should be sleeping, easy for you all to say, but impossible for me. i am on a quest. the verge of forgiveness. will i? and if I do, can I forgive myself???

hmmmm.

B and I will be celebrating our 16th anniversary.
he is my amazing. i am so in love with him.

I am so thankful for him.



Clarissa and I had a fun filled mommy daughter sleepover last night.
She is an inspiration to me. My amazing girl.

We watched Phantom of the Opera; a favorite of hers and mine.
I am inspired by a song; a new repertoire to add to our songs.

And here are our 16 songs; one for each year;

rhetorical romantic descriptions of
our many moments enjoyed;
ramblings of good, and some; not so...
dance away.

I share them with you...and dedicate to my B. Thanks hunny!

Lyrics to All I Ask of You: [from Phantom]

RAOUL:
No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide-eyed fears
I'm here, nothing can harm you
my words will warm and calm you
Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry your tears.
I'm here with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you...

CHRISTINE
Say you love me every waking moment,
turn my head with talk of summertime...
Say you need me with you now and always...
Promise me that all you say is true
that's all I ask of you

RAOUL
Let me be your shelter
let me be your light
You're safe, No one will find you
your fears are far behind you...

CHRISTINE
All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night
and you, always beside me,
to hold me and to hide me...

RAOUL
Then say you'll share with me
one love, one lifetime
let me lead you from your solitude
Say you need me with you here, beside you...
anywhere you go, let me go too
Christine, that's all I ask of you...

CHRISTINE
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...
say the word and I will follow you...
Share each day with me,
each night, each morning...
Say you love me...

RAOUL
You know I do...

BOTH
Love me - that's all I ask of you
Anywhere you go let me go too
Love me - that's all I ask of you...

this is how I feel, now, in this moment and time. I am needing his shelter, from my past, from my mind, my fear, my nightmares.

He is my security, my hope, my shelter.

I LOVE YOU MR. B!

thanks for being mine ♥ thanks for the aspen vase...a reminder of my heaven on earth...and for keeping SOME of the valentine hearts I gave you...i know....spoiled with love that you are....but you will be glad you saved a few...here's to you, my valentine...[PS: you haven't found them all....]