So behind....

With all that has been on my mind and in my heart I am behind on posting....

Today we had a lesson on Hope in Relief Society....and then continued with that thought in Sunday School....Faith and Hope and Promises. One of the scriptures that we read had to do with all we do in preserving our histories will be taken with us in the next life....scrapbooks, journals....I HOPE BLOGS!!!! So much goes into writing and posting my life, our families life, my children's lives, friendships, fun, gratitude, grieving. This is my history being written, for me, for my family, hopefully for posterity.

That said I have a suggestion. I have been keeping each post in a document that can be printed and bound. It is a hard copy of the work that I have done here....the effort preserved, in case.....

I have not been good about printing it off, and it is haunting me to get that done.

I had heard the scripture and thought previously and it has helped me to feel that my efforts in keeping my childrens stories, their events, our family fun, and friendships are worthwhile. I put effort into it continuously because I do believe that it is important to do. I know that I tend to forget many of the wonderful times, the little sweetnesses in my children, their simple and lavish ways. I am thankful to be able to look back, take a walk down memory lane.

Today I was talking to Elder Johnson. I have been sitting in his and Sister Johnsons Parenting Class for Sunday School. I missed it today, went to a different class.

He and I talked a bit about how inadequate I feel, I wonder if some of my parenting is coming back to bite me as my kids are becoming teenagers and I am having to learn how to be a mother to them in this stage, how not to get my feelings hurt, how to breathe....how to seek the spiritual influence to make decisions, how to be MORE patient, and to remember the first act of parenting is always love.

We, Elder Johnson and I, spoke about how I was working through a specific circumstance, and that I had the impression to not react to one of my children, but to just love them, and listen. I realized that I could not do anything but have faith that Heavenly Father would inpress upon my child the correction that needed to be made. I recognize that He has more ability and power to teach than I would have in all the nagging that I could do. Therefore I remained silent. I loved. I listened. It was miraculous to see that with faith that all would be well, it worked out.

He said I am being too hard on myself, maybe I am???

I know that I will have harder times, that I will have more stresses, and pained parenting, but I HOPE to hang on to my kids through the faith that they will and are working through their experiences, as I have to work through mine....

Okay...this post is more for me to work out what I am feeling right now.

I believe in miricles. My baby sister is expecting a baby, and we are praying dearly for all to be well with her.

I have much gratitude for many blessings. Freedom, gospel, family, friendships, shelter, nutrition, education, health, clothing....yeah!!!, so much, that this Sunday I am SMILING...

Thanks LeShel...for Sunday Smiles, Thanks Suzie, for MIRICLES. Thanks family and friends, for listening, when I need to ramble.

Hugs to you all...and promise to catch up...more pictures from Cayman, pictures of the kids, Wheeler Farm, their programs at school, Aunt Liz's recital....yes we did make it,

...pictures from Chicago, Basketball at Grandpa's....what is with the new net....

take a closer look...

do you see what I see???

...Memorial Day :(...:)....lunch with Sister Sheri.....and family, the ALMS races, Gavin and Dad's last walk through Clayton Jr. High [brian went there, gavin is graduating 8th grade,....the last class, and the school is coming down :(...].

We love you...look forward to getting my JOURNALING caught up, and looking forward to keeping in touch with each of you.