four letter words

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what did you think I was going to say????

The Sound of Peace

Today, try as I might,
I can not
calm down.

My nerves, my anxieties,
those overwhelming feelings...

that I am not doing enough,
I am not in the right places,
I am not helping,
all those who need help;
from me, from anyone.

I just feel so restless.
the kind of restless that
consumes you
and you find at the end of the day
that you have done
NOTHING..


I decided to put on some music.

It was nice,
but not just right.

Then I remembered
my Aunts recent
concert.
Yes, the Concert
we finally made it.

I did some video,
I wasn't set up perfectly,
but the sound
was the sound of Peace, to me.

Today, it has brought me
that same Peace.

Enjoy, as I did.
The video is not perfect,
but her glow is,
the sound is,
and if you let it in,
the Peace is.

it takes a long time to download video, for me,
i have about 7 total that I would love
to share, for family that
was not able to come...
bear with me, I will get them posted.

the sound of peace...
the sound of music.

Memories...Day ♥

...for grandma... i ♥ u....

...for great [great] grandma....mom - from grandpa...

...from jeremy...

...little clarissa rosebelle...

from....?...and aunt liz...to mom...♥

...from sam...

...from Gavin...

...Suzanne, Kevin and Natalie...and little pea...
[the sunflowers...]

...always remember...

...never forget.

So behind....

With all that has been on my mind and in my heart I am behind on posting....

Today we had a lesson on Hope in Relief Society....and then continued with that thought in Sunday School....Faith and Hope and Promises. One of the scriptures that we read had to do with all we do in preserving our histories will be taken with us in the next life....scrapbooks, journals....I HOPE BLOGS!!!! So much goes into writing and posting my life, our families life, my children's lives, friendships, fun, gratitude, grieving. This is my history being written, for me, for my family, hopefully for posterity.

That said I have a suggestion. I have been keeping each post in a document that can be printed and bound. It is a hard copy of the work that I have done here....the effort preserved, in case.....

I have not been good about printing it off, and it is haunting me to get that done.

I had heard the scripture and thought previously and it has helped me to feel that my efforts in keeping my childrens stories, their events, our family fun, and friendships are worthwhile. I put effort into it continuously because I do believe that it is important to do. I know that I tend to forget many of the wonderful times, the little sweetnesses in my children, their simple and lavish ways. I am thankful to be able to look back, take a walk down memory lane.

Today I was talking to Elder Johnson. I have been sitting in his and Sister Johnsons Parenting Class for Sunday School. I missed it today, went to a different class.

He and I talked a bit about how inadequate I feel, I wonder if some of my parenting is coming back to bite me as my kids are becoming teenagers and I am having to learn how to be a mother to them in this stage, how not to get my feelings hurt, how to breathe....how to seek the spiritual influence to make decisions, how to be MORE patient, and to remember the first act of parenting is always love.

We, Elder Johnson and I, spoke about how I was working through a specific circumstance, and that I had the impression to not react to one of my children, but to just love them, and listen. I realized that I could not do anything but have faith that Heavenly Father would inpress upon my child the correction that needed to be made. I recognize that He has more ability and power to teach than I would have in all the nagging that I could do. Therefore I remained silent. I loved. I listened. It was miraculous to see that with faith that all would be well, it worked out.

He said I am being too hard on myself, maybe I am???

I know that I will have harder times, that I will have more stresses, and pained parenting, but I HOPE to hang on to my kids through the faith that they will and are working through their experiences, as I have to work through mine....

Okay...this post is more for me to work out what I am feeling right now.

I believe in miricles. My baby sister is expecting a baby, and we are praying dearly for all to be well with her.

I have much gratitude for many blessings. Freedom, gospel, family, friendships, shelter, nutrition, education, health, clothing....yeah!!!, so much, that this Sunday I am SMILING...

Thanks LeShel...for Sunday Smiles, Thanks Suzie, for MIRICLES. Thanks family and friends, for listening, when I need to ramble.

Hugs to you all...and promise to catch up...more pictures from Cayman, pictures of the kids, Wheeler Farm, their programs at school, Aunt Liz's recital....yes we did make it,

...pictures from Chicago, Basketball at Grandpa's....what is with the new net....

take a closer look...

do you see what I see???

...Memorial Day :(...:)....lunch with Sister Sheri.....and family, the ALMS races, Gavin and Dad's last walk through Clayton Jr. High [brian went there, gavin is graduating 8th grade,....the last class, and the school is coming down :(...].

We love you...look forward to getting my JOURNALING caught up, and looking forward to keeping in touch with each of you.

Way to Go SAMMERS!!!

ALMS

Jeremy Lawrence, 8, of Salt Lake City, watches as cars make their way through the paddock prior to the Utah Grand Prix American Le Mans race Sunday, May 17, 2009 at Miller Motorsports Park in Tooele, Utah. De Ferran Motorsports won the Grand Prix by a margin of approximately of 70 seconds.
(Jim Urquhart/The Salt Lake Tribune )


oopsie....we got CAUGHT!!!....reminds me of the Lost Boys in Peter Pan.....I guess I should call Gavin's school today and excuse him from missing Wednesday through TODAY!!!!!


....and Jeremy was so focused on the cars....Wonderful DAYS at the race track....

photo and rhetoric courtesy of:
http://extras.sltrib.com/tribphoto/gallery.asp?ID=130538&GID=GRAND_05182009&Pubdate=&sort=Gallery

All Be Well....

♥

A Circumhorizontal Arc Over Ohio

FYI

My Aunt Liz's recital
at the Assembly Hall
on Temple Square....
was NOT tonight.

In case any of you were wondering....

Why do I tell you these things???

Let me start at the beginning. The day had gone too well. Dinner had been served, homework finished, chores done, the little boys were packed, pajama'd, and sent to be tended until their Dad could get home.

We left in plenty of time, I thought maybe we could even run an errand that Gavin had wanted to do, but no, let's make sure we are early, parked, and not rushed.

We continued to make our way down South Temple, approaching Temple Square.

Wow, it never happens but tonight a parking spot opened up right on South Temple, right by the entrance to the South side, just where we needed to be.

I parallel park on the first try. This is too easy, something has to go wrong....

Due to a bit of construction we had to walk
the long way around, [that must be it....]

no problem...
we have arrived in plenty of time...

we have more TIME than we realize!!!

Why not stop for a picture...
I have always wanted one by this
Mother and Son
statue...

okay, so Gavin is a bit
taller than when I first
thought of it...

it works, even with the wind...

"Let's stroll around this way", says Gavin...

can anyone say 'CHIPS'???

how about 'mood swings'???

Time for one last picture and then we ought to head over to the Assembly Hall.

We arrived, Gavin and Clarissa head in. The sister missionaries ask, can we help you...."No", I say, "I am just here for my Aunt's recital."

"Oh", they respond.

...at that point Gavin and Clarissa are coming out, "Mom, No one is in there except some of the Tabernacle Choir."

And I reply, "They must be the opening act...." [of course they would be...my aunt is AWESOME!!!]

Gavin is certain, "No, Mom, I don't think it is tonight."

I have already taken the picture here below. LOOK, it says Sally Bytheway Choral....

okay. LOOK CLOSER....

This part is important:
At this point Gavin says,
"Put THAT on your blog!!!"

The words I never thought
I would hear uttered from his
own mouth, ....YEAH!!!

And to think that he thought of
that all on his lonesome!
I have raised him so well :)

...Okay, okay, so we are REALLY early....
like 5 nights early...


...and I had such a good parking spot.

If I learned anything from my Grandpa it is eat dessert first, and if not first, just eat dessert....all the time. So, being all dressed up, we had to find somewhere to go!!!

Can anyone say ICE CREAM???

How much Ice Cream can you get for $13; the amount of money I had with me for parking....yeah for parallel parking for free!!! [about three scoops, with .43 cents to spare...scary huh!!!]

...if you haven't planned for it,
don't miss it...
Saturday Night...Assembly Hall, Temple Square,
7:30!!! PM!!!!

...don't be late....just don't be too early either :)

Home♥Sweet♥Home.....evening

What is this....you ask???

read on...

there is something suspicious in his smile...

you'll be okay, daddy....

...i am not sure Gavin will be...

There is certainly a story behind the LOOKS!!!

Read on below...

I love Family Home Evening.

One night a week when something about our home feels different.

Everyone bustling around excited that we are going to have FHE...

[I think they have figured out that because daddy is home later now that on Family Night they get to stay up late....try 10 PM tonight, ouch!...]

Tonight we had a lovely home evening. It started late, but a feeling of peace descended upon our home with the opening song...which is filled with giggles as we try to help dad sing the primary songs, no key is hit in our home, and we have no piano players...yet, the three youngest are close to being able to play for us, but as of yet we are tuneless.

Gavin gave the prayer, much needed thoughts well said.

I had the scripture story. I chose Jonah. I love this story, from the time that I first taught it in nursery, to the little 18 month old to 3 year old children. Their wide eyes, sitting on their carpet squares, looking at me, trusting me to influence them with parcels of good works. I would teach them the storys in the Bible, the Book of Mormon, words of our Prophets, songs and stories, teaching them simple truths to grow their testimonies.

I was Gavin's nursery teacher, many moons ago...

...tonight as I retold the story of Jonah, he remembered, as did each of my children, from times of past, when mommy taught them...

but, tonight, as each time does, the story presented a different meaning for each of them.

Jonah was asked to go to Nineveh to teach the people, to call them to repentance. He had his own ideas, and didn't follow what God had asked him to do. He hid on a boat, sleeping peacefully while the mariners suffered greatly because of a harsh storm that God caused upon the waters. Jonah choice to hide from God caused others to suffer, while he slept. He was awakened and his lot was to be thrown overboard, where God had prepared a whale to swallow him up. He was in the belly of the whale for three days and nights. Crying unto God, repenting and begging that he be saved and he would do the work he was called to do.

The whale threw him upon the shores, he followed Gods direction, he went to Nineveh to preach repentance to the people.

The people repented, and they were forgiven by God. Then Jonah became angry. Why would God forgive all these people? He was angry and selfish, and was stubborn. He found a gourd and sat under it. It shaded him from the elements. God caused a worm to destroy the gourd [like a large sunflower]. The sun beat down on Jonah. He cried unto God to let him die. God asked him about his anger, his judgement. He told God that he was angry the gourd had died. God asked about his compassion for the flower, that he had not nurtured, or raised up, or tended to. It had been there for him to use, without him having done anything to deserve the blessing. How could he be so sympathtic to the gourd yet no compassion for the people of Nineveh. Jonah was angry, he couldn't overcome his anger. God told him that the people had repented and that he forgave them of their wickedness. Jonah's story ends, with no resolve for Jonah written in the scripture.


The children each commented on the story, you can come to your conclusions, however they each felt that Jonah story relates to our world today. It is easy to mock God, and his plan and needs for each of us to do His will. To serve, and to obey the promptings and directions that we are given, through scripture, through living prophets today. We feel to hide, to be depressed, to sleep it away, but the reality is that we must do His will, and be obedient and repent. They learned about the feelings of anger and judgement, that as humans we naturally sucomb to. And they related the story to moments of their personal lives, even Jeremy, as he remembered a friend that he has that he struggles to not be tempted by, and realizes the need to be a leader and a good example to.


It was our home♥sweet♥home moment. Where we come together and all is truly well.



Then on to the Pledge of Allegience, a thought on our freedoms, direction from Brian - daddys words to the children, a closing song, and family prayer.

AND THEN THE TREAT....

....the pictures tell half the story. Jeremy was in charge of the treat, and he made up something new....

Jeremy, who thinks that gummy bears make his cereal delightful.

As you can see from the picture everyone ate the treat, carefully prepared and presented to us...



...Jeremy was completely unaware of the reaction.

"Anyone want seconds???" [he was serious]

YUMMY :)

I am pretty sure you want to know
the secret to the recipe.
It has something to do with the following:

Milk
Colored/Flavored Marshmellows
Ginger Snaps
Hersheys Chocolate Chunks

and a spoon...

all in a cup,
drink/eat it up...

"I made it up dad, all by myself."
"I think I will have a little more..."

[everyone ate their treat,
thanked Jer-Bear,
and then had a slice of Clarissa's
really yummy Banana Bread,
hot out of the oven!!!]

Happy, Happy FHE....heals the weary soul,
gives hope to light and love,
and helps hanging on
to the important things in life.

FAMILY ♥