sUndAy sMilEs or sOmEdAy sMiLes?

Every week whether i blog or not I check my cousin's fabulous blog for her Sunday Smiles.

You could say every week

whether I smile or not...I check her blog!

...and smile at her smiles! Anywho...

LeShel and me

Awhile back I was for a short period of time keeping up my own Sunday Smiles, because she is so RIGHT!!!! ...keeping track of smiles really can make a person feel happier....

Yesterday morning I woke up in thought(s).

I realized how much of my writing I have been keeping to myself lately, it seems most of my thoughts, random and rambling, are pretty pathetic and thus I am quite opposed to inflicting them upon any unsuspecting readers,

of which I think I have four faithful!

However, this thought had it's dichotomy and I wrote a perfect anthem in my head for this family friendly blog, and in opposition of this blogs theme, a perfect anthem for my healing/lashing/dark blog. Written in my head I went back to sleep, a restless sleep, filled and fraught with regrets and worries.

As I sat later in the day I was unable to ponder up either of those perfectly written posts. Both lost to me, and probably for the best on the latter.

However I do remember a piece of the pondering that I had regarding SMILES!

I smiled this week ....a few times, and I even laughed myself silly once. I can not remember why or what brought this on...and so I reprimand myself for allowing myself the pleasure of smiles and laughter without acknowledgement and gratitude.

This probably seems really trivial, but when life has handed you so many lemons of which you have no time to make lemonaid...and thus you have wasted the lemons, you begin to realize that wasted lemons are .....a waste.

There is so much more you could have done with what you were given.

Where much is given, much is expected.

Hindsight, and lacking in gratitude...one specific smile last week....felt so wonderful. I can remember that I was walking....and felt myself smiling and thought WOW, that feels weird. It felt weird to smile because I had not felt myself spontaneously SMILE for so long. As I said, I have laughed a little...with my siblings, with my kids...with my Brian. And a smile has has certainly creased my face from time to time...but not like this, a smile that I FELT from the inside out....

One specific SMILE...

[in retrospect I have cried, and screamed, and whined away my days.....]

This SMILE was all on my own. Something that I saw, or heard, or thought of and my cheeks turned up and my face HURT....for lack of smiling. I was using muscles that haven't been used enough lately.

Anyhow, this is really a rambling for me. ...to remember to SMILE, and to notice and acknowledge to abundance of blessings and joy that I have, even in trial and sorrow....and, of course, to make lemonaid...

Here's to recycling smiles! Thanks LeShel for inspiring! ...for the reminder to myself....

Self: on this rainy monday....there is a silver lining or a rainbow,

or a SMILE.... somewhere, someday.